Zombie Cliché Lookout: Move Your Ass!
In our busy lives, we rarely take the opportunity to just sit and enjoy a quiet moment alone or with a friend. We’re so used to constant bombardment by distraction, that simple quiet is unnatural and strange to us. Thankfully, we’ve got out smart phones, tablets, laptops, portable video games, etc. to drown out the oppressing silence of the world. But really, we should take a moment and drink in the serenity, because when the zombies show up, moments like that are going to be far and few between.
No, in the zombie apocalypse you’ll really enjoy that quiet time, because before you know it some idiot is going to come running around the corner with a gun, screaming at you to start running. Because hot on his tail is a couple dozen zombies, and they’re certainly not here to bask in nature’s beauty or just sit and enjoy the quiet. They’re (spoiler alert) going to try to eat your face.
About this Episode:
Okay, this should be the last one with the bad color. The white balance has been corrected going forward, and I’m going to make sure to double check it from here on out.
On a completely unrelated note, I love it when a character comes tear-assing around a corner, screaming for everyone to grab their stuff and get moving. It reminds me of the scene in Star Wars when Han Solo chases the stormtroopers around the corner, only to run into more (only when I think about it, I think about the original cut, not the monstrosity that George Lucas “updated” a few years ago). It just has such a great sense of kinetic humor that I’ve been dying to use it in the comic for a while now. I guess I finally got my chance.
No question? Well that’s okay. I actually have one, if you want to answer it. You find a gun store. There are no zombies around. You and your buddies need ammo. There might be an alarm there might not. Would you try to get in or pass by?
-Check for stickers saying if the place is protected with an alarm
-Is the power out?
-Open the door
A gun store is inevitably alarm protected – I would not be surprised that it is even obligatory… and as far as I know alarms run on powerful batteries. So, unless you know how to hack the system or be veeery quick about your business I would pass on that.
I don’t know if it is an option in your scenario but the alternative I would consider is to create a diversion, like setting off on purpose an alarm 4 blocks away and then attempt to get into the store.
-Find a step ladder
-Pull the batteries out
I don’t think alarms work like that.
Damnit. I keep forgetting the question.
I think I’d try to get in, but I’d also create another diversion a couple blocks away.
I need ammo. There might be an alarm, there might not. If there is an alarm, it might be silent, it might not.
Unless the store was open when the outbreak started (in which case it would already be gutted), most gun shop owners move their inventory into a vault at closing time (not the ammunition, just the firearms). I understand the BATFags don’t make it easy on FFL’s that are burgled.
Context is important. How large is the city? In the country, I’d risk the alarm, if I had weapons in calibers likely stocked. If I had something oddball I was scrounging ammunition for, like a Mannlicher Steyr model 95 rifle I’d walk on by; but if it was 12 gauge, probably risk a “smash-and-grab”.
What are BATFags and FFLs?
BATFags=BATFE, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives. They’re the federal agency that manages firearms businesses; and FFLs are Federally Firearms Licenses, the umbrella of licenses that regulate firearms manufacturers and dealers.
So, FFL’s, the licensed dealers, are required by law to keep their stock locked up after hours (guns moved from the display cases to the vault). Getting the guns out after hours would require a LOT of time and an oxyacetylene torch.
It’s a pity they don’t have time to grab the fire truck! 😀 It’d be a handy vehicle, nobody from the fire department is around anymore to use it! 😀
Sure! And they could switch on the siren!
How could you not?
yah know dave, Star wars is george lucas’ property, and I personally think that he decided to improve upon it, I know that purists like yourselves and many other people don’t like change, but you know what, I have a question, did you prefer the old tron movie over the new one????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I never watched the new Tron. Looked awful.
You have no idea, the only decent part was the music.
I personally liked it, but I guess that comes with being born 15 after it was released, and because I personally look forward to the sequal(s) that Disney has planned and will make.
Are they making sequels? I didn’t think it had done well enough for that.
it did amazingly well. in fact not only are they making a sequel, but they are also making an animated series. I am quite excited to see that.
I love the tearing around the corner thing too! There is always that one guy who is like “What?” and then he sees the horde and then takes off too. Always makes me laugh.
I totally should have Stew do that.
And the anxiety & confusion, as in this case, is magnified when the guy who comes barreling around the corner is dressed in police or military clothing. At this early stage of the Zee Apoc, there’s still some hope that THOSE people will come and help US. A panicked cop or military personnel is really, really bad guano!
Yeah, seeing someone who is ostensibly representative of order and control running away in terror doesn’t do a whole lot for your confidence in the situation, does it?
About the gun store – if the power was out then that is a no brainer: Ammo it up baby.
But, if the power is still on, that would be tricky. If the group is large enough, I’d station someone at the backdoor to ensure our getaway route is clear and a person at the entrance to hold off the walkers as they head our way. The rest would raid the store and scram as quickly as possible.
I would say that most stores have silent alarms so as to not scare off the crooks and ensure they get nabbed by the cops. The alarm may be a mute point.
Nice thoughts on having an exit strategy, Angie.
Another concern of an un-reconned gun store is, you don’t want to surprise the guy(s) who had the exact same idea as you did, say, 20 minutes ago. If you have another crazy-scared group ahead of you, they will shoot first and maybe ask questions later if you spook ’em.
I’d think it was obvious it someone was there before us but that is a good point. If there is already a group, how wise/safe would it be to jump in. I’d share but not all would be so generous.
Hmmm. No Friday Bonus Feature or new comic update today? Does this mean the end of the bonus features, or has Dave’s site developed a fault and refused to update for him? 😀
I look forward to the next bonus feature or regular episode Dave has planned, whenever it comes along! 😀
No, there should be a comic. Trying to figure out why it didn’t publish.
Nice job with making the figs look like they’re in motion! The last panel is especially action-y.
Thank you, sir.
what ever happened to the whole ”crap in a hat” buisness
That was never me. Chris Doyle of Reasonably Clever/Brick House uses that line a lot.