Zombie Cliché Lookout: It’s Probably Time to Go
These days, we live pretty secured lives. We don’t really have to worry about wild animals, or invading armies getting us while we sleep, safe in our homes. When we here a bump in the night, or a strange noise in the distance we generally don’t have much to worry about. Odds are it’s just the house settling, or someone’s loud stereo that sounds strange in the distance. No big deal. Sure, it can creep us out a bit – especially if we’re home alone – until we’re able to use logic to tell ourselves that everything is okay, but that fear is just the last vestiges of our survival instinct doing what it’s supposed to do.
But in the zombie apocalypse, you could ignore those instincts to your own peril. In fact, the situation demands immediate action should you want to, you know, survive. So little things that go bump in the night should be treated as the dire and immediate threats they most likely are. If you act fast, you can the chance of not getting eaten by zombies. And even if they are only thermal pops or an old building settling, well, better safe than sorry.
Discussion Question: A Baseball Bat by Your Nightstand
Define your level of paranoia here. What do you keep next to your bed to keep away the things that go bump in the night? An old baseball bat? German Shepherd? A dream catcher? A semiautomatic handgun?
About this Episode:
Destroying all the zombies is important because you never know when one that might seem disabled might find a way to get back up. Back when the ambulance crashed, the shirtless zombie got squished, but never quite kill. In the background this week, Cheryl takes care of that.
I once scared off a would-be intruder with an airsoft AK-47. It was an extremely stupid move on my part, but lucky for me it worked. I used to sleep with a bladed weapon of some sort under my bed, but now that I have kids those things have to be kept out of easy reach.
As far as irrational fears go though, I have an Elder Sign made by the folks at the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society hanging over my front door and whenever a spooky movie gives me chills I just remind myself that the house is demon proof. Irrational fears require irrational solutions.
“Irrational fears require irrational solutions.” – Well said, sir. Well said.
I love it. Can I borrow that quote sometime?
I have a dream catcher in my room, a combat knife under my pillow, a screw driver specifically placed under my bed, a base ball bat in the corner of my room, and a lego table in front of my window (what’s worse than stepping on legos?)
I’m paranoid, but I don’t know why. I don’t have any horrible scenarios in my life to remember back to, but I can’t help but feel the fear that some one or some thing wants me dead.
“I can’t help but feel the fear that some one or some thing wants me dead.” that is pretty interesting, especially given that you’re unsure of the source of this fear.
“If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That’s ridiculous. If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid for?”
-Clint Smith
(If you don’t know who that is, an internet search is worth your time).
It may be influenced by family, dreams, and stories I’ve been told.. I don’t trust people very much.. People are shit heads.
Trust everyone; but brand your cattle?
People are out to meet their own needs. Unfortunately, those needs might not be YOUR needs. That’s what I like about the zombie metaphor: mindless, selfish people = zombies.
I believe you may have confused me just slightly?
When did we start talking about cows and mindless people? None the less I think I may now know what you are trying to portray here, but still a bit off kilter with what I may be interpreting.
It’s kind of like Ronald Regan’s “Trust but verify”. “Trust everyone; but brand your cattle” means trust folks; but make damned sure they don’t rip you off.
Sorry to mix metaphors; I was saying that in the world of symbolism, zombies are the mindless drones that can’t, or won’t, take care of themselves; so they make the producers do it for them.
Alright I see what you’re saying then.
Don’t get me wrong.. I tend to trust some people I don’t know, but where I live? It’s the meth capital of the US.. I don’t trust any of the trash that tends to blow around.
Though my mood does alter depending on how I am feeling a particular day.
What’s the bet the maintenance guy has already been bitten and will turn into a zed in under a minute? 😀 My bet is ‘better than average’ right now! 😀
He may be hiding something. You never can tell.
It’s even worse if he doesn’t even know he’s hiding it, which would be the mark of a good webcomic author. Most of the time in this webcomic I know if someone’s been bitten but what if I don’t know? That’s a suspense factor and I like that if played out properly! 😀
I think that’s something that has to be done carefully. It can be a little too easy for a writer to suddenly say, “Oh yeah, Bob got bitten and has been hiding it and he’s a zombie now.” You need the setup, and it needs to be clever enough so that it’s clear in hindsight without giving too much away.
Yup, all tricks in the webcomic author’s magic bag, you did get yours didn’t you? 😉
You really don’t want people getting bitten and hiding it. I would make it very clear in my group, we will not be killing people or cutting them loose if they’re up-front about getting bitten. We’d take care of them right up to the point that we need to “take care of them”. One person turning isn’t that big a deal unless it takes you by surprise.
If you’re caught hiding a bite, of course, you’re gone, and maybe even shot if you try to stick around.
I have a swiss army knife next to my bed and I’m pretty sure my alarm clock would make a good weapon.
If it’s a cheap and light plastic alarm clock probably not worth it. It would have to be a really heavy piece of metal to make a really useful weapon otherwise it’d be a one hit kill throwaway weapon! 😀
Maybe he could strangle his attackers with the cord… of course that won’t work on zombies.
Remember Joe Pesci’s phone scene in Casino? That alarm clock would likely hold up long enough to open a whole can of whoopass. Just hold it like a can of Coke and hammer down on the scumbag.
For biters, all bets are off…
Brutal scene. Not quite up to the baseball bats in the cornfield at the end, but brutal.
Speaking of baseball bats…
They do indeed work, if the end-user has the intestinal fortitude to apply it liberally to his adversary’s melon.
I’m really starting to lose track of all the characters. Murphy and Co leave the building they were hiding, and random people start popping up – EMTs, cameramen. Frankly, there are way too many new characters to keep track of. I don’t even remember where the orange jumpsuit guy is from.
Yeah, we’ve got four new characters: two EMTs (Karen and Lyle), a cameraman, and this maintenance guy from City Power. We don’t even know that last two guys’ names just yet.
But don’t worry, we’ll learn more soon enough.
For a small deserted town, this place has a bunch of survivors.
knock knock! I really wonder who’s behind that door!
.. the deadliest thing you will find next to my bed is a bug zapper… and a dusty Steve Jobs bio that I found so boring that I never managed to finish it. So… in the event of a ZA I could either try to tickle the zeds to death with my zapper or knock them down with a book.. I guess I’m screwed (once again).
The heaviest books I have around here are two big volumes of poems by Henry Lawson. I’m not sure how much poetic justice he can carry out on zeds that probably would just bite the books anyway! 😀
I like the idea of a zombie being infected by poetry…
Perhaps their savage souls could be soothed by the beauty of poetry?
I’ve no end of heavy books in the house, but few that are kept near my nightstand. Currently, it’s a pair from the library which pass combat muster – a Pixar coffeetable book and a design of “Empire Strikes Back” book.
How is that Pixar book?
Pretty excellent. Some of the anecdotes are fabulous. My fave so far was Lasseter talking about how “Toy Story” basically had heaven and hell in it, so they went and explored purgatory in the sequel.
Hmm… I may have to add that to my Christmas list.
Well I already investigate strange sounds and i am very paranoid ( for good reason since some people down my road back home are shall we say ….. less than trustworthy and habits die hard). and I used to keep a variety of weapons near me where i slept. But since my college dorm frowns on combat knives and the sort i don’t any more. but my room mate is a base ball player so there is normally bats in are room.
Yeah, weapons in a college dorm are probably a good way to get kicked out of a school. A nice piece of sporting equipment like a bat, on the other hand…
Highly recommended – a big, D-cell powered Maglite flashlight. They’re basically functional nightsticks without the crosspiece. Many policemen recommend them wholeheartedly.
Yeah, I’ve got one of those by my desk. Mostly for power outages and the like, but if a zombie ever did show up I’d be ready.
Remington 870, kept cruiser ready (loaded magazine, empty chamber, hammer down- because the 870 is not drop-safe). The tube is full of standard 00 buck. The Speedfeed stock holds four Foster slugs. Those ammunition choices are good and cheap (I can actually afford to practice with them).
As for the characters go, I will be very interested in seeing how this “party” gets along together. The human dynamic always intrigues me, especially with the typical grass-eater (non-dynamic, herd following, American Idol watching American). When things go South, how will they react? That is to say, what happens when they realize the cavalry ain’t coming. For all his bravado, think Rick, from The Walking Dead. He wanted to stay in the outskirts of Atlanta, waiting for Uncle Sugar to rescue him; so, despite being an LEO, he really wasn’t prepared, mentally (besides being a douche nozzle).
Uncle Sugar being the federal government? I can’t say I’ve heard that expression before.
Yeah, he’s everyone’s Sugar Uncle (not really); but that’s what folks want, someone to take care of them. Zombie survivors tend to fall into two camps: the ones that want to go “back to sleep” (the ones in denial), and the ones that recognize the reality of the situation. The latter tend to be more likeable, and do better. The fact is, in any worst-case scenario, you are on your own. The cavalry is not coming. The sooner one recognizes that, the sooner he can get on with living.
That’s why I love zombie fiction, for the psychology of it. I am interested in exploring that dynamic in this strip.
I have a longsword in easy lunging distance. It’s a replica, so not sharp-edged, but since it’s tempered steel and 3.5′ long, it doesn’t NEED to be sharp. It’d be like whaling on someone with a long-handled crowbar.
Plus it’s probably lighter and easier to swing than a full sized crowbar.
Unfortunately all my weapons are stored where little hands can’t play with them…though most of my weapons are more for camping use then as an actual weapon. I’ve got my two swords hangin in my basement, 1 decorative that the blade would come out of where I to do anything with it. 1 real short sword that was bought for me as a birthday present years ago. My army spade, my Dad’s army knife he passed to me and a campers cast iron sandwich press. That sucker could do the most damage out of all and still keep me at more than arm’s length. (haven’t sharpened the blades on the knife or sword since I got married) In a Z world I’d be in trouble.
Yeah, having kids definitely limits the amount of deadly weapons you can leave lying about. Or so my wife keeps telling me 🙂
They’ve to learn to juggle daggers eventually.
I do have a Dream Catcher over my bed as that does help. I do and would otherwise have what is scientifically known as Sleep Paralysis Attacks. I do have a machette and a Ninjato next to my bed. So that all seems to work, for now.
Sleep paralysis sounds horrifying.
So.. you think you have what it takes to survive a ZA? Well, check this out – Fight zombies in an abandoned shopping mall.
That place is used regularly for airsoft games. It is slap bang in the middle of Reading! disused shopping mall with all the fittings still inside!
I’m gearing up for doing this http://2.8hourslater.com/ in Glasgow at the weekend.
Awe!Some!
I can’t keep any actual weapons next to the bed due to weapon laws (although if I could I would), but I generally keep a sharp thing and a heavy thing within reach. And a fair few flammable things, but they wouldn’t be a very wise combat choice.
Where do you live that weapons laws prohibit you from having a bat or something like that near your bed?
Sounds kind of like here in the UK. The government here is so anti-self-defense I can hardly believe it at times. I’ve heard of cops harassing workmen, grilling them about whether they’d use their tools to defend themselves if attacked on the job. I don’t think they’d go so far as to arrest you for a bat by your bed, but I wouldn’t be that surprised either.
I do hope that those with handy, near by weapons have ’em safe & secure from children. Last few weeks we’ve had a spat of shootings in the country of children on children; 3 in our Northwest area. Not trying to bum-out the readers, but . . .
As to the paranoia question, I used to do a lot of travel. Lots of single-serving meals & single-serving friends kind of deal. My hotel routine always included:
1. Lock the door with all available locks (some hotels have up to 3!)
2. Close the curtains leading towards the walkways; the whole, I don’t want people peeking in
3. Check the shower & bathroom windows. Yeah, yeah, in retrospect it does sound silly to check the bathroom last after I’ve shut & concealed myself.
Proper procedure should be something like, before bed, remove longarm from safe. Place CCW in safe. Lock safe. Place longarm in cpnvenient plave while sleeping. Upon arrising, replace the longarm in the safe, and retrieve the CCW.
And FWIW, it is MUCH easier to gun-proof your kids than to kid-proof your guns.
+1 on teaching your kids about guns. That’s how I was raised. When I got curious about them, my dad showed me them, taught me how they worked, and took me shooting. I never got the urge to go snooping around, trying to find and play with any.
Our threshold to pain always fascinates me. When we get all banged up, we all tend to automatically slow down, frequently feel it’s worst that it may be, and simply feel we can’t go on. And yet, thanks to ol’ Fight or Flight, if something dangerous pops up again, we now have the incredible burst of energy & strength, which a few seconds ago thought impossible.
I’ve frequently wondered what would it take to truly master those adrenalin switches; I mean, short of joining SEAL Team 6, becoming an Olympian athlete, or accept a position as a suicide bomber.
Run a marathon. That’ll let you know your true pain threshold.
Actually did, a bunch of years ago in Seattle afew years ago. Kicked my butt!
I wish I could run. Probably wouldn’t do a marathon, but I’d love to be able to hit up some 5 and 10ks.
Just watched the penultimate and final episodes of Season 2 of The Walking Dead. I really enjoyed it. Two things that I was extremely impressed at.
1. We got to see the helicopter again. Leading the horde towards the barn. Remember it from when Rick was following it on his horse? Then turned around the block >.>
2. I liked the twist about the “We’re all ********” (in case some haven’t seen it) which brought the whisper moment back from the end of S1 and I think it also explains why the military were shooting the civilians in the flashback episode.
😀 I myself haven’t read the comics. But I’m really enjoying the TV series 😀
The comic explains the helicopter, I think.
That story-arc will blow your mind.
To hard and expensive for me to understand. I’ve spent near 170$ on the comics alone.
I read the trades at the library. Doesn’t cost me a thing.
And I don’t watch the show, because I don’t have cable/satellite It doesn’t matter, because I already know what’s going to happen, from reading the book.
I wonder if the show’s helicopter is going to be the same as the one in the comic. (Spoilers) The in the comic didn’t show up for a long time. If memory serves, they were surviving for over a year at that point.
My turn! A marlin repeater 410 gauge shotgun under my bed, semi auto sub machine gun next to my bed, a blow dart gun in my nightstand, a baseball bat in the corner of my room, and a semi auto 45 acp pistol. In Texas you have to come prepared!
http://ranger.gamebanana.com/img/ico/sprays/4e8f81557fab6.jpg
and bring some Texas toast would ya?
Of all those items, Guy, I’m most intrigued by the blow dart gun.
Yea every weapon is loaded blowdart gun is loaded with a stun dart, and in the next room a safe with 15+ pistols and 20+ rifles. Got my Texas toast right here. And if you were wondering I’m not a redneck.
I wouldn’t call you a redneck, you are on the internet.
By the way, what you all think should be the “average” time to turn from:
1. Being Bitten
2. Blood Splatter
3. Time of non-bitten/fluids death
I say average so as to skip the, “it depends on the person” convo.
In my mind, all of those things kill you, and then you turn a short while after dying.
Bites would kill you faster, especially if you lost a lot of blood or suffered severe trauma.
Blood splatters and fluid transfers would take a bit longer than a bite, maybe a couple days.
Depends on the mythos. If you’re already infected (as in everyone is infecte, but you don’t turn until you die- classic Romero style), spatter/fluid might not kill you at all.
Hmmmm… The weapons near my bed vary depending on what I’ve been up to lately. Right now a couple of daggers are on the desk right next to my head when I sleep, and a big old Maglight on the floor next to the bed. (When I say daggers I mean a rondel and a quillon dagger with high carbon tempered blades as long as my forearm, not some cheap five inch long stainless ren-faire trash.) In the past I’ve had actual high carbon tempered swords and for a several month stretch a heavy duty flanged mace I was quite fond of using for a back-scratcher. I’m moving soon though, and have plans of setting up stands and displays for all my various toys next to my bed, everything from daggers to spears. No, this wouldn’t be out of paranoia, but if something were to happen…
What do you do that you have all those medieval weapons? Just a hobby?
Dave, “. . . what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!” Just don’t forget your Safe Word, Bob.
Hah!
Hobby. I have an interest in the German martial arts of about the 15th century. Most people don’t realize that such a thing exists because it died out entirely, but a variety of fightbooks and manuals survived to the present day and people have begin studying them and reviving the art. A knight or man-at-arms would be expected to be proficient in the use of the spear, longsword, arming sword, arming sword and buckler, messer (German word for knife, which in this case is referring to a cleaver matchete like sword), dagger, lance, pollaxe, and of course ringen or wrestling.
See here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj4Ng6DBfrg (I like this one)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIKMPIFJkzk&feature=related (This one shows how slow and unwieldly the longsword is… or not so much)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TzdtyMC7ek&feature=related (Five different weapons, such as pollaxe)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvkPLvoH1vI (Ringen)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0fV1oB3j4c&feature=related (More ringen)
This is just a random sample of some clips I happen to find and like off Youtube. There’s a lot more to the art than that, and this is of course ignoring the Italian tradition of Fiore. (I’ve no Italian blood in me, but I do have some German, so…)
Okay, that’s just a completely badass hobby right there. Those videos are sweet.
I dont have”weapons” perse, but I do have a lamp and a small heater. If I can get to the shed I can get to my weapons.
iiut am a little paranoid when going outside after dark. I literally live right next to a forest. With a pack of coyotes. I alrwady take some thing with me. Bat, knife, wooden sword. Anything. opossums are hard to scare
off.they doing like moving. I’ve already tired yip scare assay two
We had coyotes in the woods where I grew up. You always heard them, but I’ve never seen one in person. I think they keep their distance from people pretty well.
Damn swype! And lack of spel chek!
Removed the dupe.
I’ve got a baseball bat next to my bed. That’s it. No guns in the house right now, although when we move I’ll likely get my safe from my parent’s house.
I live in the burbs with good neighbors (ex-marine on one side, ex-cop on the other) and feel pretty secure at night.
I wonder how safe they feel…
Oh I think they feel pretty safe. Not because I’m their neighbor, oh course. They’re just pretty confident people.
First time in a vaguely “nicer” area of town here and our first time robbed. I wish I had a retired Marine for a neighbor…
Eh, time to move when that happens. Maybe even time to see about mortgage possibilities for once…
If you get the sudden urge to expatriate to Michigan, I can get you a solid rental house that is retired marine-adjacent. And if you’re getting a mortgage, even better!
Wooo…. mortgages are more involved here than I’d thought, but this is one of the pricier areas of the country, too. (One report has it that average prices here are just higher than averages in Toronto, though I’m assuming that the high level of unsold condos pushed Toronto’s average lower (and that a whole swack of lakefront property on the market in time for summer hereabouts pushed things up).
Still… pricey. Add in student loans and daycare and… sigh. Back to looking at rentals unless something surprising happens.
All I have got near me is my knife collection. I guess it’s sufficient…
Knives will do, although I’d prefer something that would let me keep some distance.
Make sure the girl in blue dosnt die ok cus shes my favorite for some reason
That’d be Inez. She seems to have a lot of fans.
I personally hope to see clark again.