Zombie Cliché Lookout: Not a Damn Thing
The joke goes a little something like this:
A police officer stops an elderly lady for speeding, her asks for her driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. The little old lady gives him the information, along with a concealed pistol permit. Surprised, the officer asks her if she has a weapon on her presently. She tells him she has a .45 in her glovebox. The officer is impressed, and asks if she has any other firearms on her. The little old woman calmly lists the 9mm in her center console and the .38 special in her purse. Shocked, the officer asks her “What are you afraid of ma’am?” Without missing a beat, the woman calmly responds “Not a goddamn thing.”
It’s not really zombie related, but that silly joke is what inspired today’s episode.
About this Episode:
I had to put this one together pretty quickly. I ended up going camping all weekend without a buffer (which is pretty damn stupid on my part), so I had to scramble to shoot, edit, and write this up before bed. And it was a struggle, all that fresh air really kicked my ass.
For this episode I wanted Sam to be getting some sort of medical test. Because there aren’t a lot of medical parts available, and because the person doing the testing is in a hazmat suit, I had to settle for a syringe.
Discussion Question: The Island
Let’s say that you’re stranded on a desert island. You have food, water, shelter, and – for some damn reason – a portable DVD player and a solar charger. If you could only pick one zombie flick to keep you company until your rescue (or lack thereof), what would it be?
This is a tough one for me, but I think I’d have to go with the original Dawn of the Dead. I tend to prefer Night of the Living Dead overall, but I’d probably go with Dawn simply because I haven’t seen it a many times.
Regarding the joke: I’m surprised she didn’t list a .57 magnum hidden somewhere! 😀
Regarding this episode: it’s about time we got to see what they’re up to with Sam! 😉
Not only do we get to see what’s going on with him, but Sam is, once again shirtless. You know, for the ladies.
Interesting question you have there sir, I would most likely go with Night of the living Dead, for I have not yet seen it and really looking forward to it. Also, you have a damn DVD but no radio. Was I an idiot when the ship sunk?
Yeah, the story behind how you ended up on an island with only a DVD player would be an interesting one. Perhaps you were really, really drunk.
The story of what to do with said DVD player with no TV or power would be an even more interesting one! 😀
Well a portable DVD usually brings a screen along, and power you have a solar charger. Won’t be able to watch it at night.
Unless the solar charger charges batteries. Boom, night movies.
Dave, you know me… I’ve not a blessed zombie movie I’ve seen, let alone own. The closest thing I can conjure up to one would be either a “Treehouse of Horror” from the “Simpsons” (so let’s say season four… I think it has zombies in that ToH…) or else “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (how better to describe those poor children under Ben Stein’s thrall?).
Lovely use of the joke, too.
Not a bad choice, sir. They actually did another ToH zombie episode a few years back, but this time it was based on 28 Days Later. Not as good as the original, of course, but variety is always a nice thing.
Being stuck on an island with just 1 movie sucks, no matter how great the movie is! If you pick a movie you like you’ll inevitably start hating it after having seen it 50 times.. but choosing a movie you don’t like is an equally depressing perspective.
I’d probably go with “Shaun” – at least it’ll cheer me up for a while.
Shaun is an excellent choice. That movie works on so many levels.
that’s my choice too Yatkuu!
I think any of the Evil Dead movies would do just fine. Heck, any Z-movie would be better than no movie… Except ‘Hard Rock Zombies’ that movie was so bad I get physically ill when thinking about it. I usually love bad movies for the cheesiness. HRZ is the exception.
There are a few zombie flicks that are just too awful to watch. I haven’t seen HRZ, but I’ve watched a few others.
Dubada Dubada Dubada Dead, Shaun of the dead.
Great movie, great song.
I’d take the DVD player apart to make a fire starter and use the DVD as a signal mirror.
Regarding the comic, I thought of this by famed firearms trainer Clint Smith:
“If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That’s ridiculous. If I have a gun, what in the hell do I have to be paranoid about?”
I love that paranoid line, absolutely f’ing love it.
Don’t be surprised if that shows up in the comic someday, Bo.
Clint Smith is the man. He’s full of great one-liners, like a real-life John McClane.
The world needs more people like that.
Yah… I don’t see zombie flicks, nor do I want to. I cannot stand horror films. It would keep me up for nights on end through out my stay on the island.
Did I forget to mention that the island you’re stranded on is called Isla de la Muerta?
Only if I can have Elizabeth Swann to keep my bed warm. >:)
Hah
I can’t stop seeing an old lady killing zombies while dual wielding one .45 and one 9mm now…if a movie like this existed, I’d choose it.
That made me think of the old lady Simon Pegg dropkicks in Hot Fuzz. Never not funny.
She’s been watching too much of ‘The Blob’ the 1958 one :L
I’ve never seen that one, so I think your reference just sailed right over my head.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blob – a quick googling dug up this wikipedia article. it would be extremely funny if a blob-like alien were to invade BotD and devour people and zombies at random! 😀
I take an VCR video tape instead, and I’ll break down the DVD player into 2 different uses. One will be as a small make shift trap, and the other would be for a singling mirror.
The VCR’s feed tape will be used for holding up some structures, and possibly some snare wire if it is strong enough (Tested on site). I will use what is left of the plastic casing of the VCR tape to be used as a small food tray.
So you want no movie?
You don’t need a movie if you can watch a pterodactyl with laser beam eyes battling a raptor riding a shark with an uzi and an rpg(the rocket launcher).
Can’t argue with that.
I agree with Yatkuu, whichever film you have with you no matter how much you love it, it will soon get on your nerves after several viewings. When I broke my ankle years ago I was stuck at home for a good few weeks, watched every dvd in my collection (plus all extras) at least 4 times (I had just moved house and had no internet or Sky installed) I was glad to get back to work just for something different to do!
But to answer the question……either Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland!
Great choices, there.
If I am stuck on a remote island, I’d probably prefer a little comedy to straight-up horror. Note, this is not a “desert island” choice, as in “you can only have one zombie movie”. This is, “you’re literally stuck on an island with one movie”. If I could only have one zombie move, then I’d want a more “pure” piece; but on a remote isle, like Tom Hanks’s character in Castaway, give me one of those two, any day.
“Why should I be afraid? I’m the one with the gun.”
The needle makes it look like a blood test to me. I wonder if that means they can test for the infection? We’ve seen people turn faster than two days, but if it’s variable then being able to know earlier could be useful.