Zombie Cliché Lookout: How Do You Take Your God?
In post-apocalyptic stories, dealing with radical religious people can be tricky. They’re typically not terribly open to new ideas, or even minor differences of opinions about the current ideas. One of the quickest ways of getting on the cult’s bad side is by not being on their side. Spiritually speaking, that is. If you want to keep on friendly terms with the neighborhood snake cult, get a snake, put on a robe, and join the festivities. Whatever you do, when they ask you if you believe in Hiiiiissssa (the snake god) do not say “No.” Because odds are not believing in Hiiiiissssa is punishable by being fed to Hiiiiissssa , which sounds unpleasant.
It’s sort of like in Ghostbusters, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “Yes.”
About this Episode:
Poor Sam has been looking might uncomfortable for the past couple of weeks. It’s nice to see him settle down and open up a little bit in this last panel. The face looks a tad smartass-ish, but I liked it, so there you go.
I’m pretty happy with my little chapel. The only thing that didn’t work in the build are the windows that I added, which are out of frame. I had a notion that I could have light streaming through them before the lights came on, but I wasn’t quite able to pull it off.
Discussion Question: Squirrel on a Stick
Since we’ve all accepted that the zombie apocalypse is going to happen (it’s only a matter of when, right?), I’m curious what everyone has on their meal plan when the logistics system goes down and the local Kroger isn’t stocking anything but broken windows and shopping carts where one wheel is all wobbly. I’m confident that certain commenters here have months, if not years worth of food stocked, but let’s assume that your house (or other storage facility) gets destroyed.
So what’s for dinner? Squirrel and rabbit? Dandelion root? Long pork?
Assuming my grandfather still remembers how to cut the meat off of cows, I am fine and dandy. Otherwise, might need to relly on learning how to farm and waste tons of energy daily on finding alternate sources of food such as fishing and scavenging certain places I know there is food but most people would not go to.
I just realized, I relly too much on my grandparents, gotta start learning quick how to do certain stuff, or I’m screwed.
The older generation has much for you to learn from, mainly stuff they did when they were at war, such as weapon maintenance, and if they if were evacuees when they were little, they might know farm work. My grandpa taught me how to pin someone down like in the Army. He jumped on me.
Also, today is my birthday.
I’m down to a single grand parent now. It’s a damn shame.
Happy Birthday to you.
You live in a zoo.
You look like a monkey,
And you smell like one too.
Pee-ewe!!
Have a super awesome day!
Oh yeah, happy belated birthday!
Build the skillset before the zeds show up.
It seems like fishing wouldn’t be too bad a time waster if you could set lines or nets and then just check back later in the day.
Well my brother. ( joking) (or am I?) Deer meat from one on my ranch that I will go hunt after it happens, then make sure its not bit.
Got to love venison.
Yeah.
‘Round ‘ere we gots lots ‘o dem cows. ‘Course everyone else gonna be eatin’ ’em too. Basically I will eat anything that I can catch…
Rationed, there’s a lot of food you can get from a cow. And if you’ve got a lot of them, well that’s even better.
Precious little, really. I know how to cook, but my longstanding plans to be more green thumb have been… well, awfully longstanding. And I can’t claim much more than a few weeks worth of food, either – considering that I’ve not lived in any one residence for more than three years (and most less than two years) since I graduated from high school in the mid-90s, my impulse to stockpile things other than on-sale cereal and tinned fish has been pretty much in check.
That said, I’d rather be able to do more things on my own. Urban peasant-type stuff works for me, but I don’t envision learning butchering beyond fish. I’ll have to hope that someone’s interested in trading for a good teacher’s skills… or else go grab those books I’ve been meaning to get for a while so that I can rebuild society and offer those skills.
This is the first year in the last few we haven’t had a garden, and it sucks. I really enjoy the fresh vegetables. We canned a ton last year too (mostly tomatoes), which helped keep the grocery bills a bit lower.
Ah well.
Well, at least I’m not squeamish about having to kill and eat something. But neither would I vounteer to do it, I’ve seen headless chooks running around first-hand, and they are very difficult to catch! 😀
I also know the basics about planting seeds and growing basic crops like radishes, carrots, lettuce, etc, although that knowledge is a bit rusty, I’m sure it’d help me out a lot! 🙂
Yeah, killing stuff isn’t exactly my idea of a good time either, but if that means a meal on the table that night, I’m up for it.
This last year of school wiped out a lot of our short-term food storage (the frozen and the canned). We still have a couple of years worth of long-term storage for four (beans, rice, wheat, freeze-dried and dehydrated stuff).
There are a lot of ducks and geese around here. I don’t know how long they’d last in a WCS; but in a bug in situation, I’d turn to them first, before other folks started getting desperate. I’d make traps for them with fishhooks baited with canned corn and roast them on my propane grill.
That would be in a desperate situation. The plan is still to bug out long before then.
I’ve never had goose, but duck is damn tasty when cooked right.
Yep.. Squirrel, Rabbit(though, like wolf, I hear it’s nasty), fish(there are 3 basic ways to cook it 2 which are alike), different herbs around the forest (finally got a local and global guide), nuts from trees (Oklahoma is popular for our large amount of nuts, and overall in the US most nuts are non poisoness, and! I can identify them), canned foods if I can find them (Not the bloated cans though!), cornbread (corn meal is packaged all around us!), possibly deer if the hunting isn’t to unsafe (no not turning it into jerky.. You get it and you eat it for maximum benefit).
I’m going to stay away from a lot of things like fungi, because fungi doesn’t provide you with very much protein and you never know when you’re eating something bad. (In other words, I’d rather not trip balls straight into a zombie or guy that wants my stuff)
If I was in a fortified community I’d help set up what needed to be grown. Focusing most of the work on potatoes, corn, and gourd fruits (making sure to remind to rotate crops as history tells us, as well as never strip and burn farm).
Rabbit is good eating.
I love sam’s face in the last frame. He looks a bit like a smart ass.
But I don’t think he is trying to be.
Hah, he sure does.
Perhaps I should read your episode info before I start commenting. lol
Hah, perhaps.
Well there’s the Emu farm next door and plenty of rabbits and squirrels. Also I’ve got an idea on how I could turn one of our storage sheds into a smokehouse. Of course I’d do most of the smoking at night so as not to attract hungry strangers.
Mmm… smoked emu.
Hah, I agree, Sam does look fairly “smartass-ish” in that last panel, but it works well enough.
Also, I caught a typo in the cliché: “put on a robes.” 😉
Oops. I’ll get that fixed.
Humans. I’m likely to have been bitten by then.
I was thinking the same about myself but I didn;t want to sound like I’d given up. I’m just too clumbsy and out of shape I’d be toast right away.
Here’s the protip for dealing with being clumsy and out-of-shape: denial.
I love denial. Makes so many things possible. lol
Well, I’d probably end up scavenging whatever I could find if I ended up in the more urban places or farming if I ended up in the more rural places. I live pretty much between an urban and a rural district.
So you get the best (and I suppose the worst) of both worlds, eh?
Me, Nic Cage and Gordon the dino will be eating Nutella. I think this joke has gone far enough.
“This sketch is far too silly!”
And now for something completely different.
Dad – Convert! Or I will feed you to the zombies! If you want to marry my daughter, let alone look at her! Convert! Or I feed you to the zombies!
Yeah…. there’s a place for God and religion, it’s when the whackos come out and go all zealot on you that I want to throw it out with the bath water.
I can’t stand the whackos that make religion look bad…
Yeah, zealotry is generally something you want to avoid. Just as dangerous as the zeds. Perhaps more so.
I sure hope Dave’s got the recipe ideas presented here together for a good zombie survivalist’s guide to cooking just about anything! 😀 It should be a nice hefty volume, too – never know when you might need to throw it at a zed! 😉
The Joy of Cooking (Apocalypse Edition).
A secure location with a built in chapel……this place just gets more and more interesting!
p.s. nice build Dave!
Thank you, sir. As with all my builds, it’s too damn big, but I like it.
Hey Dave, I just noticed that “do” is randomly un-capitalized in “Zombie Cliché Lookout: How do You Take Your God?”
Oops. I’ll fix that.
Long Pork would become an option shockingly fast. Very depressing that such extremism would come to play because of how obvious it is. So many options would be ignorantly missed.
Man, it’s about time someone commented on the long pork.
Do I want to ask what Long Pork is?
No. I think you want to Google it.
http://www.aulet.com/en/prod_curado_secallona.php
This is something I found when I googled it.
hah! Oh wow I am shocked! That is hilarious.
Nice find Calicade, glad to see they are all gluten free!
Ok…here it is for those confused.
“Long Pork” is human meat. Cannibalism. I am not sure but my guess is that it is called “Long Pork” since human skin is so similar to pig skin. Which is why pigs are so often used in topical skin tests. So think about that next time you eat pork rinds or sit down for a lovely pork chop.
Oh I love thinking of cannablism while I’m eating my fried pork skin man. It just gives it that extra bit of ‘umph’ as if I just hunted down a human myself and maimed them alive.
No.. No I will not think about long pork while I eat my pig.. It will force me to bring it up as a topic around the table so every can enjoy the pain of eating. I don’t know whether this is suppose to look like me being upset, humorously evil, or insane.
Well. Any and all is acceptable. Just excel at it.
I have two cats, they look quite tasty…
😉
Are they meat cats or show cats?
Umm… yeah the zombie apoc isn’t really going to happen, i answer all of these questions in a what if? scenario.
We don’t need your kind here, so, yeah, no more comments or answers from you will be taken seriously.
Oh it’ll happen.
also, what proof do you have that it won’t happen? There are millions of ways that it could happen.
Are you stupid? Don’t you watch the news?!?
It’s happening already in FLORIDA!
( 😉 no actual offense intended, I’m just joking of course.)
the only thing i dont know about zombies, is the best weapeon to kill one with. My best guess is a silenced pistol, or a crossbow with flaming arrows. Whatever it is, ask me questions about zombies anytime, on any comment, on any page
Question:
Well, I’m a vegetarian, but given a choice between eating meat and starving, I’ll take the meat, thank you very much. However, I think that many people over-estimate how hard it will be to find food. I think scavenging stores would be just fine as a food source for a while. Sure everyone will think of that, but if the population has been seriously reduced, there’ll be plenty to go around. This leads me to think that a bad outbreak somewhere else might be worse in many ways; you’d still get the breakdown of the supply chain, but with most of the local population healthy, supply problems would be a lot worse. Other humans are far more dangerous than zombies if they choose to be.