Zombie Cliché Lookout: Whiter Whites During the Apocalypse
Zombie stories are generally concerned with things like gathering food and potable water, securing shelter, and – of course – killing zombies by the truckload. The one thing that really doesn’t get brought up too often is how people keep clean during the zombie apocalypse. Without access to power, running water, and soap, keeping clean becomes a little more complicated.
The only exaple I can think of where survivors were attending to the less than exciting parts of survival, the cleaning, is The Walking Dead. In both the comic and the the AMC television series, the survivors take a break from stacking zombie bodies like cord wood to attend to the laundry. Of course in both instances, these momentary lapses into the drudgery of everyday life were little but setups for things to get crazy, but I’ll take what I can get.
About this Episode:
How is Sam holding that shirt? Am I that good at balancing stuff, or did I cheat with my old, good friend, sticky tac?
Discussion Question: The Other Part of Survival
We’ve all got our favorite zombie killing weapons and tactics, but how many of us have plans in place for dealing with the other parts of survival? Does anyone know how to make soap? How to clean their clothes without the benefit of a washing machine? Zombies are scary and all, but so too are things like tetanus and cholera, which can very quickly become your number on priority without a little prior planning.
Other News: Help Wanted
Bricks of the Dead has been growing, and lately we’ve been getting more review requests from authors, editors, and publishing companies than we can reasonably handle. That means, we need a couple more people who are passionate about zombies, like to read, and can write thoughtful, insightful reviews.
The job would, of course, be unpaid, and you’d had to deal with me as your editor, which means constructive criticism. But on the other hand, you’d get free zombie books.
If you’re interested, please contact me. I’d love to discuss it with you.
I’d throw plans out the window as soon as the dead start to walk. I think in regards to hygene either we’re all going to succumb to zombies (who I don’t think have working nasal passages anyway) so I don’t think it’s very hgh on the survival list. Plus, wouldn’t you rather sie of a hygenerelated illness than to be a zombie? Course, you could always get some shots before a zombie invasion.
relating to the comic: This really is a makeshift quarantine – that door doesn’t look like it would stop much infection.
I think my big concern would be getting sick and then being unable to defend myself when the zeds show up. Just laying there helpless as they get closer and closer.
And yes, this is very much makeshift.
Well for the discussion question no but now I should look into that. I would dave but I’ve been to busy to read a whole page of a book. Literally.
No worries, guy. Not everyone’s got the time, as I well know.
Hey speaking of keeping clean among all of the giant plotholes in the Resident Evil movie series *adaptation* in the third one my dad pointed out a really good and really funny plothole how Alice the main character is a traveling nomad on a motorcycle in the desert yet she manages to keep her face completely clean and moisturized and i even saw i hint of makeup lolz so I wonder how did she do all this in a Fallout looking wasteland full of zombies :/
You obviously need to re-watch the movie… she’s got super powers, she repels dirt with her mind 😉
Hah!
I seem to recall that actress made the director (her husband, I belive) go back and CGI out and facial blemishes and the like so that she looked even more beautiful in the post-apocalyptic wasteland.
The idea of staying clean is a difficult one but just like many aspects of our modern lives, if the SHTF we’ll just have to forget about it.
Nowadays we wash ourselves daily, cover our body odors with deodorant, perfumes… clean our clothes regularly.. without all these fancy products we would quickly get back to smelling like the animals we still are down below.. body odor and “real” pheromones would therefore probably get back in playing a major role in the social relationships and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Now in what concern fiction, in movies or books I honestly prefer not consider this aspect too much, I like to think of the characters as relatively clean people and not half savages that can be smelled 20 feets away – in particular if the story involves some kind of romance. In the last book I read (“Plaguesville USA” – review coming up in a few days!) there’s a female character that is a gorgeous creature, I was completely charmed by her and I wouldn’t want to spoil that by asking myself how the hell she manages to stay fresh and clean in a post apoc world.
I’d bet she’d have a fair amount of stank coming off her, Yatkuu.
Don’t say that, I’m sure she smells of fresh leather!
Or a fresh pile of shit!
Mmmm cow pies in the morning.
As well.. I have a feeling beards would start to come back in to style.
awesome, a world populated by stinky bearded dudes and equally stinky gals… once again I’m wondering if it’s really worth surviving the apocalypse.
At least you will be dressed cool, and your kids will be kick ass survivors… Kinda.
Bears start coming back in style. As a bearded-American, I can assure you, the future is now.
Reading that book too and I think the guys tend to over look any stinkiness since she is such knock out. lol
You can’t hardly blame us for that! 😉
Well, at least they didn’t fall apart during the wash! 😀
A minor miracle, surely.
Shall I go on to brag about my survival teachings… Again?
Hehe..
Yeah cleaning up in the wild isn’t -that- hard.. I’ve done it plenty of times when I was younger. Soap is just a luxury, and if you truly need to smell perfumed find some scented plants.. Or just stay away from stepping in poo.
Let me finish the hunger games series and I’ll finish reading Rise Again, and I’ll try to jump on y’all band wagon of reviews.. ZM has been on me about that.. Not in the nagging
“OH YOU BETTER DO THAT!” nagging, but more so.
“You should totally.”
Glad to hear it, Calicade!
did he also tell you about the admission rite?
No, but I’ve killed my fair share of goats.
Well we won’t be killing any goats…
Well, this is where I like to think I’ve learned some good basics of survival. I’m not top notch like some others, but I know them. Plus I have found articles before for making soap and even candles when planning out emergency preparedness.
Of course, we can go back to the days of the dark ages where many people only had one set of clothes to see them through a life time.
The question is instead then.. How cool will you look after it all ends?
Depends on how the “coolness” factor is rated and determined and who’s judging.
I personally don’t care. If what I have is what I like and I don’t feel like a dork, I’m not worried about what anyone else thinks.
Plus, would there even be any survivors depending on the severity of such plague and any ability for the human race to continue.
I’m big on natural looking clothes, and layering for some reason..
Let me elaborate on -natural- I’m talking about clothes people like myself would wear just about every day.
Cargo pants, buttoned up shirts, boots, zipped up hoodies (Though I don’t wear mine that often), T-shirts, etc.
Both soap and candle making seem like damn good survival skills to me.
ha ha ha… I love that his “clothes” are body parts. It’s the little things. =D
btw – i miss the Budda belly already.
I knew the ladies would.
I am such a baby. I hate cold showers but a girl will have to do what a girl will have to do. My kid is happest when he’s filthy so I guess he’ll be fine.
I do like that TWD do show the laundry getting done. I guess if we go back to brute force and beat our clothes into cleanliness, it’ll be good practice for beating zombies into submission.
Perhaps I should start stocking up on baby wipes and hand sanitizer.
“go back to brute force and beat our clothes into cleanliness”
That made me smile. Carry on.
I’d relish not having a responsible job, and therefore not having to shave. I’d rather be a stylish Zombie. I think if the ZA did happen I would put on a three piece suit and some spats. If you are going to wander the planet looking for brains may as well stand out from teh crowd.
Spats should be more of a thing. Those things are cool.
Send me a pair that fits, and give me a few weeks.. I’ll get it going.
spats = muy sexy!
Who cares about beign clean when there is a constant life or death situation? The occasional shower would be great, but it isn’t necesary.
And I think that your that good at balancing!
Hah, I wish I was that good at balancing.
ahh, the truth comes out…
on the issue of low tech cleanliness i learned a few things from my time in the boy scouts that might help.
you can keep yourself fairly clean with just a rag and some water. and you can get you clothes clean by putting them in boiling water. or you can wear them and hop into some water, clean your clothes and you self at the same time. anything else need cleaned: boiling water, rag, and sand + elbow grease = clean (not recommended for body parts).
Dave, i might be able to read books and do reviews after finals. So my question is, is there a time limit on the job offer?
Hey Daniel, thanks for the offer. Do you have a writing sample you could send me?
Alright I’ll do a review on a book I just finished reading. If that’s okay? It isn’t a zombie apoc but it is a end of the world as we know it book.
I learned to skip showers while on campouts with my son. We shower on Friday before we leave and again Sunday when we get home. Public showers are not so bad but the thought of someone walking in on me is not cool.
Angeline, The Walk-in Dread, eh?
Zombie: Urgh! Argh! Growl!
Google Translate: Où sont les toilettes?
giggles!
I plan on stockpiling toiletries, and my friend’s mother works at a pharmacy. I should be good on the hygiene department.
Basement full of toilet paper? Check.
I can’t imagine that I’d last too long if hygiene comes into the equation. I’ve got overly-delicate hands and feet after several summers of working through less-than-clement weather and less-than-dried boots and gloves, not to mention bad use of chemicals. Sigh. But who knows? Maybe I’d toughen up. Add to that pharma and dietary needs, and it gets ugly fast.
I do need to go back to the local 2nd-hand shop to pick up the copy of “The Way Things Work” that I saw. I’ve coveted a copy ever since I read “Lucifer’s Hammer.”
Dave, I’ll get back to you after I move about writing/reviewing. It’s a little out of my genrespace, so I can understand any reluctance, but you know my writing and reviewing by this point. Easily nothing doing until mid-June, though.
The Way Things Work is cool. I remember either having a copy as a child, or reading through it frequently at school. Didn’t that writer also do a bunch of books on building things like Castles and Roman Cities? Greats tuff.
I definitely know your writing and reviewing, so if you’re ever up for it, I’d be overjoyed to have you.
Cool, hombre. Today was writing report card comments, so I not only feel like a zombie but also am questing for brains….
Merci, mon ami on the writing. I’ll get back to you.
As for the book – never got it before, just heard of it. Again, we’ll have to see when there’s time/opportunity….
Ha, ha, ha!! “Bearded-American” That cracks me up!
Hygiene is of paramount importance during and after the zee-poc! Remove this thin veneer of civilization and it’s back to the plague-laden Dark Age. “Bring out yer dead!”
Odors would attrack:
1. The zee’s themselves, assuming smelling is one of the senses they retain
2. Predators
3. House pets gone feral; consider all the Garfields ‘n Odies without John to feed them any longer
4. Vemin; I assume rat population will flourish
5. Flies, ‘sktters, ticks and other insects
6. Parasites from micorscopic on up
7. Barflies
Bad Hygiene will:
1. Delay or prevent healing of internal & external open wounds
2. Allow for opportunistic diseases to activate & escalate
3. Quick transmission of illnesses from person to person
4. Have a detrimental impact on Self and Group morale
5. Quicken breakdown of autoimmune system
6. Consider, viruses and bacteria are constantly mutating in order to adapt to medical prevention; what will happen with these Super-Bugs when hygienic and medical practices disappear??
A group under these contitions is only as healthy or strong as it’s illest or weakest member. Hence, my lack of health incured (or exacerbated) by bad hygiene is a liability to the group’s total wellbeing.
Lots of good ideas above; especially the boiling of water for eating and washing. No idea how contaminated the water sources will be after the nastiness starts. One tidbit from the military (and campers ‘n hunters), if by a river: Drinking ‘n cooking water from flowing, upstream water (try to avoid stagnant pools); then, mid-stream water for washing – if possible, try to wash away from the river; water for vehicles & machinery from the farthest possible downstream point.
As part of your resupplying runs, try to include:
1. Alcohol
2. Alcohol swabs
3. Unscented baby wipes and any other kind of wipes
4. Unscented female hygiene products
5. Unscented floss
5. Least scented mouth washes – bad teeth in dentist-free wilderness is agony! And, you won’t always have an handy iceskate to perform oral surgery
Make it a group policy from the very begining: After any zee attack, check for ANY sized wound, and clean up immediately.
I actually started taking cold showers not to long ago. It starts to feel really good after the 3rd shower, and you find yourself hating hot water more.
If all goes planned I’ll be learning from my friend Jojo, and his Grandfather about a-lot of Native American remedies and ways. Jojo’s grandfather is a trained in the arts of native medicines.. Would be surprised what all is in nature that alone could be used for luxuries.
Everyone in my group is required to master at least one hard science before Z-Day: Chemistry, Electronics, Metallurgy, Biology, Physics. Secondary skills are also nice, but we can get by with just these. As group leader, I’ve been studying Psychology and group dynamics for a few years, now. And, I don’t consider anyone “useless”. If they can tear cloth for bandages, boil water, learn new skills or, at the very least, be the slowest runner, I think they make a great addition. If the new guy’s four useless friends are Kenyan athletes, then maybe we have an issue.
Say, why is the wall around the door black anyway?
Question:
I can’t say I know how to make soap, but it’s not like washing clothes is hard; just put them in a tub with water and stir. It’s one thing that the so-called “useless friends” can do to earn their keep.