Episode 264: Charge!

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Dave

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Zombie Cliche Lookout: Breakthrough

When I was in high school, I took a public safety course, which consisted of three sections: medical, police, and fire. It was a hell of a lot of fun, and I actually learned a few things (even if I think my teacher wasn’t the most qualified person in the world). One thing that I always found fascinating is that we were taught that forest fires tend to burn in a line, and that at at point, the fire itself is generally significantly longer than it is deep. And if one if trapped, the best course of action might just be to charge right through the fire, because the other side is likely much closer than you think. The only problem with this advice is that I don’t know if it’s actually – you know – true.

So what does this have to do with zombies? Well, in most zombie stories, when survivors are besieged, the zombies tend to spread out around them, trying to get as close as possible to whatever is in between them and their meal. So long as the horde of zombie isn’t too substantial, you might just be able to break through the ring to get to safety. And if the number of zombies is significant enough to make that possible, well, you’re probably hosed either way.

About this Episode:

I’m quite happy with how the action in this episode. Showing LEGO zombies getting shoved around is a lot of fun, and I like to try a lot of different angles of them getting bowled over, hitting the ground, and struggling to get back up again. I know, I’m a bit weird.

Discussion Question: Favorite Improvised Weapon

One of my absolute favorite things about zombie stories is that survivors are often caught off guard and are forced into using improvised weapons instead of cutting edge military hardware. I always think this adds a lot to the story, and makes things much more visually interesting to boot. What is your favorite improvised weapon to see in zombie movies, books, games, and shows? And remember, this is your favorite weapon to see, not necessary the one you would choose in a pinch, so even if the weapon has a fatal flaw or two, it’s still totally fair game.

48 thoughts on “Episode 264: Charge!”

  1. I’d probably have to say for the discussion question a 2×4. It makes a good club, especially if there are nails sticking out in which case it also makes a good mace.

    • Very close to my answer, Larry. I’ve always loved the idea of a baseball bat with nails or spikes driven through it. It just looks so damn cool, although I realize it would be horribly impractical and probably more of a hindrance than anything else.

  2. Will this be the last we see of Clark? 😀
    Tune in Wednesday to find out! 😉

    • And Friday, and the following Monday. And tell your friends.

  3. Either a frying pan or a large hardback book would be the best improvised weapon for me.

    • A hard-backed book would hurt like hell. I thought that was a great quick weapon in whichever Bourne movie they used it in.

  4. My favorite improvised weapon wasn’t from a zombie movie exactly, but the bladed cutting arm on a school paper cutter was used interestingly in The Faculty.
    As for the wildfire trivia, technically it’s true, but fires don’t burn in a line, they tend to burn in more of a circle or semi-circle (having lived in fire country for nearly ten years, I became familiar with wildfires and how they behave). The exact shape is often dictated and changed by wind and topography, but wildfires generally burn in a circle from the point of origin.
    The part that is technically true is that the leading edge of the fire is usually very thin, since the fuel beihind it has been mostly used up and the leading edge is following the unburnt fuel. The danger with the advice you were given, though, is you can’t be certain how thick the leading edge actually is or what may be hidden in the smoke and flames – there could be a barbed-wire fence just past the flames that you could get hung up on or a tree that’s burning could suddenly fall on you or in your path, trapping you between it and the fire. Charging through a fire line is really risky and usually not worth it unless you have absolutely no other choice.

    • That paper cutter thing is a great choice; I always liked the moment of the movie (or any sort of “arming up” scene for that matter).

      I’m glad to hear my fire advice isn’t totally groundless, although it sure sounds like it leaves a lot to be desired.

  5. The chain, I’ve seen it in different things.. But it always makes my bones ache just thinking about getting hit with a chain.

    • The length of chain is a great one, Calicade! I always love seeing gang members twirling one of things things around.

  6. Crowbar, Night of the Living Dead 1990 remake. Ben finds a zombie coming in the back door of the farmhouse, beats the crap out of it. It starts getting up again. Ben says, “Die, dammit!” and rams the straight end of the bar straight through the zed’s head. Bam.

    • Yes indeed. I’ve always like the 1990 version. Not as iconic as the original, but as remakes go, pretty decent.

  7. My favorite? What ever can be gotten a hold of and is solid enough to start smacking zombies with. So mostly nice solid metal bats.

    • A solid metal bat would certainly do the trick.

    • This. The best improvised weapon is the one within reach. I’ve seen guys worked over with beer bottles, rocks, and garden hoses.

      Hell, when I was a kid, one of the townies whipped a guy with a road-killed snake. No joke. He picked it up off the side of the road and beat the cornbread hell out of a guy that was giving him a ration of shit, striped him good.

      • That’s absolutely badass.

        • The guy that got whipped was kind of the village idiot, a;ways running his sewer, never knowing when to shut the hell up. Funny thing is, years later folks still bring it up, sort of woven into the town’s folklore.

        • How could it not be woven into the town’s folklore? Dude got horsewhipped with a dead snake.

        • Because the guy is the village idiot and it makes for a helluva story. It’s the kind of thing that you bring up at the bar, you know? And since my home town has as many bars as churches (and about 2000 people), things like that tend to stick around in the collective memory.

          Ah, memories.

        • Just noticed you wrote not be woven in to folklore, and you’re right. That’s the kind of story that makes it into an obituary.

          I remember the name of the guy that got the beating, but not the man that did it. I’ll have to call my dad and have him tell it again. LOL.

        • Hah, I was wondering why you defending the folklore.

          That’s serious an awesome story. Kind of gross, completely over the top. What’s not to love?

        • It’s a wicked combination of blue collar and beer; but that’s how we lived.

  8. My favorite improvised weapon is the fistload. Anything to make strikes more effective, glass mugs (with handles), a sturdy pen, a brick, billiard ball, or a rock.

    But that’s not going to work against zombies. For zombies you need something that will scramble the brains, and not get hung up in there. A roofing hammer with a hatchet blade would be nice, so would a shovel.

    How important is stand-off distance to you? With undead zombies, you can get closer, because their saliva and other bodily fluids likely won’t infect you (their bite kills you; but it’s death in any form that starts the zombification process).

    For plague zombies, I want to be in the next county. In that case, the best improvised weapon for me would be a Mack truck. Just run the muthas over. 😉

    • A pillowcase with a doorknob in it. Like a fistload with reach.

      • Hell yes.

        Funny you should mention the pillowcase. I just wrote on a friend’s FB page that I believe the best cure for bullying is a pillowcase full of cans of Mt. Dew.

        • Hah. That would work too.

  9. Great episode! Am I the only one to think that Rick chasing this inmate all alone through the corridors was an incredibly stupid move?

    • ah, damned, posted this in the wrong place! Sorry Dave!

      • Hah, happens to the best of us Greg.

        And to answer your question, it was stupid, but at the same time letting the guy get away would have probably been just as stupid.

    • Yes, I kept thinking, “You’re smarter than this, Rick! What are you doing?!” through the entire sequence. Then again, the characters from the show seem to be much dumber than their comic counterparts, so…

  10. my favorite improvised weapon is rock, like a big heavy rock

    • That would work.

      • Oh hell yeah.

        Another story: When I was a kid I was the only, um, white kid my age on my block. There were some that were significantly older; but I was the only one near my own age. That tended to make me a target for the brown kids in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, my folks’ house was on the corner of the block; so walking to or from school meant there was only one way home. I got in a lot of scuffles, some more violent than others. One day I decided to avoid trouble by cutting through the undeveloped desert between the school and my parents’ house, about half a mile away. Sure enough, a pack of about five cousins found me (they were always cousins). I cut from the street back into the desert and grabbed a fist-sized rock in each hand.

        “What are ya gonna do with those rocks, throw ’em?” One asked. He knew that I had a terrible aim with a thrown rock.

        “Hell no, “I replied. “I am gonna bash your heads in with them.”

        “Really?” he said, nervously. I had a reputation for being a little crazy. It was a defense mechanism.

        “That’s right,” I retorted.”I am gonna smash your brains out.” I didn’t even blink.

        They left me alone that day. Would I have hit them with rock? I don’t know. I knew what five or six kids could do to one kid, cut off and unable or unwilling to cut and run. Hey, life is hard in those hard-rock mining towns, especially when you’re the ethnic minority.

        • A little crazy can go a long ways in a pinch.

  11. I’ve always wanted to see someone use an old fashioned bumper jack to take out some zombies. The tire iron is a good go to weapon, but those old bumper jacks were pretty hefty.

    • Actually used one of those the other day to level a house.. Very unwieldy, and to swing it would hurt quite a bit.. The first batter up would have to kill it.

    • A bumper jack is like a floor jack, no?

      • http://www.hi-lift.com/

        A bumper jack is not a floor jack, but a Hi-Lift -type jack.

        They’re really quite heavy, if my memory is right. I haven’t handled one in twenty years.

        • Oh, right on. Those look quite unwieldy.

  12. dave, could i ask you to do a guest strip in my webcomic in about a month?

    • I’m incredibly swamped right now AC, so I can’t commit to anything right now. Ask me closer to when you need it. If I can swing it, I will.

      • okay, im actually doing pretty good right now in my webcomic, 3 weeks, 3 suscribers, and 14 epiodes.

        • Not bad!

          If you want my advice, I’d continue plugging away at your comic for as long as you can. Release episodes regularly, on schedule and on time. You need to build up a library and an audience, taking a break or getting guest strips at the beginning like that isn’t going to help as much as just getting more episodes posted.

        • yeah, well i take my pictures ahead of time, the only problem is that it still snows, even in utah. and i can keep clear skys and unwatery grass, in the mean time durring that. im doing my other comic, Futureconomy, when im done with both of those comics, then ill start on another. but yesterday i uploaded 8 strips! i didnt even have to edit them on any other websites. i think that my webcomic’s going great, after 80 episodes, ill add the guest strips

        • You’re going to balance three different, simultaneous comics? Good luck, that’s a hell of an undertaking.

        • no, only 2, but later 3 yes

        • would anyone else like to have a guest comic on my site? thats http://hungergames.thecomicseries.com comment me when you’ve made up your mind

  13. See, even at this point I would probably have fought them. Now, he’s being chased by four of them. Running like this, he could just keep picking up more and more until he can’t fight anymore.

    Question:
    A spear is probably the most effective (melee) weapon you could have against zombies. The wide grip makes it much less likely to glance off – not that that should be much of an issue with the face. An improvised one might be nearly as effective if you could find some nice sharp steel for the head. You wouldn’t be able to strike with it as effectively though, unless you were able to find a nice smooth shaft to use.