Episode 212: Look on the Bright Side

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Dave

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Zombie Cliché Lookout: The Cheap Shot

When writers want to show that a character is mean spirited, in a bad mood, or maybe just slightly removed from reality, they often throw in a cheap, 0ut-of-left-field insult aimed at another character. It doesn’t have anything to do with anything, other than momentary cruelty (or just a complete lack of awareness regarding general appropriateness and other people’s feelings).

About this Episode:

I made this one for two reasons. First, there have been a lot of comments about Sam’s paunchy appearance, which I find amusing and wanted to recognize in a not terribly straight forward way.

Second, I’m generally interested in how people react to stress and bad situations, generally psychologically, but seeing a physical reaction is plenty interesting too. In some sort of zombie apocalypse situation, food is going to be scarce and – if you want to survive – strictly rationed. All those fatbodies out there (myself, sadly included) are going to be trimming down pretty quickly thanks to a reduced diet and a drastic increase in physical activity).

Of course there’s always the counterexample of Hurley on Lost. In fact, how this character managed to maintain his size on a steady diet of fish and coconuts was one of the show’s many mysteries. And, like a lot of the show’s mysteries, the ultimate answer wasn’t terribly satisfying (spoiler alert: homeboy way eating gallon containers of Dharma Initiative brand ranch dressing; it was gross).

Discussion Question: Give me your tired, your poor…

There has been quite a lot of discussion around here of group dynamics in the zombie apocalypse, specially just what sort of group you would have. It seems to me that we make a lot of assumptions about this sort of thing. We assume we’ll be able to link up with like-minded folks who all have fairly complimentary skill sets and behave rationally. What this tells me is that many of us are going to have some sort of recruitment process whereby we aren’t going to allow certain people into our groups.

How is this going to work for you? Who do you cut, and why? What would I need to bring to the table in order to be accepted into your group? How would you handle one extremely useful person, who insists on bringing along four of his absolutely useless friends?

54 thoughts on “Episode 212: Look on the Bright Side”

  1. Your own food, ammo, gun or weapon, and any thing else you have to offer. Hah fat joke! I really shouldn’t be talking but I couldn’t resist.

    • Yeah, I can’t talk either, Guy.

  2. Define -useless-.

    • Having no real practical skills. These are the type of people who order out every meal, have a maid and a lawn service, and call a contractor every time something breaks.

      • You forgot “and has a complete set of home handyman tools, not that he knows how to use them!” 😀

      • Hmm.. Recruitment for my team will be one of the more stricter things of my group that will only ever consist of 4-6 people (Including me). It would consist of a test of things that I know that all my members and myself included can do. If I can’t do them then I won’t place them with in the test. I will also challenge their intelligence at lengths to practice their over all thinking process.

        I will then question their standings on morality. They must understand that no one goes alone anywhere, and self sacrifice for some one outside of the group with out group consent will volunteer a 2 strike penalty. 2 strikes and they are out of the group with only a share of what they have earned.

        Trading will be done as WHOLE group not as a few individuals and tempers will ALWAYS be kept in check. Becoming offended and taking action upon it is one of the 2 strikes that goes down on the list.

        There will be no arguments with in the group, but if there is a confrontation between members in a group we will arrange a time to where there will be an equal hand to hand combat. Any arguments that go unsolved or are finished with unplanned fighting will be punished with a strike.

        There will no females aloud with in the group, but partaking in the pleasures when ever the chance is possible is allowed.. As long as they don’t bring the weight of love with them afterwards.

        We are to be a survival group that is strictly meant to survive and do work/missions.. We will be considerably a group of Mercenaries/Teamsters. The killing of innocents will also be punished by a 1 mark… I know it seems a minor punishment for such a heinous crime, but I can’t risk getting rid of good members because of such incidents.

        Skills will involve a plethora of things.

        Knowing how to set a wound
        How to start a fire
        Making a shelter
        Knowing how to dispatch both attacking humans, hunting of animals, and zombies.
        Knowing how to use a fire arm is optional, but guns are not aloud to be used by the inexperienced.
        Everyone will always have a form of weapon on their being so they must constantly train to use it as a fully lethal tool.
        Knowing how to be sneaky is optional, but nearly a MUST if to be in the group. Lacking this skill will result in required training.
        Picking a lock will be recommended as a skill, but if it isn’t know optional training will be available.
        There are a number of survival techniques that I will also require to be learned, but most likely will already be known if they have survived this far.

        There’s quite a bit more, but as you can see I have rather high expectations.

        Oh as well.. They cannot be a pessimist.. Only realism and Optimism is aloud with in the groups mentality. If that is violated then the group will berate them for such silly negative views.

        • Being reminded of cases of rape..
          Rape will result in death.. I absolutely cannot stand the thought of it.. Nor could I ever permit it to be aloud in any form.

  3. you know, the lost kid( I have no idea what that is really) is not the only example, the earliest one I can think of is the skipper on Gilligan’s island.

    • Oh man, I never thought about the Skipper!

      • yeah, he even seemed to get a little larger, I think that he had a crew member he told no one about, then ate him.

        • You know, I can picture that.

  4. I guess I’d group up with friends or anyone I already have an established relationship with, regardless of skill, and move as one. But if needs must and we have to abandon someone, I’ll happily get rid of the most useless, such as someone who just can’t keep travelling or has developed a complex. Ironically that means kicking myself out.
    Conversely, I could recruit someone I don’t like that’s a good fighter, but I’d probably use them as a diversion to get past a horde of zombies.

    • I’d have a much harder time getting rid of a friend because they couldn’t hack it anymore. It’s a liability, but I’m a big softy.

      • so am I, but in times of crisis I think I’d be happy to toss out all but one friendship.

  5. uh oh… Sam’s getting more and more like the sumo wrestler minifigure, all he needs to do is tie his hair in a bun! don’t do it Sam!

    as for the discussion question, you’d definately be allowed in if you had guns, ammo or food.

    • That’s his angry face.

  6. “Apocalypse” is misspelled in panel 2! 😀

    Regarding the discussion question, I would have someone submit a test to all five people and publicly announce that only those who pass would be admitted, the rest would be given a minimal ration of food/provisions and told to make it on their own. The four useless people might surprise everyone if they get enough motivation for their self-preservation to kick in! 😉

    • Aw hell. Fixed that.

      • The original script said “whole end-of-the-world thing”, which I changed to “apocalypse” at the last minute, mispelled, and never f’ing noticed.

        • Awesome! 😀 You got any thoughts regarding my thoughts on the discussion question? 😉

  7. Interesting question. To me, no skillset is worth four useless people. Then again, barring extreme disability or exceedingly young age (infants or toddles), no one is truly useless. I have a lot of garden that needs weeding. and watering. Without city water, they’ll have to bring it up by the bucket from the stream. That’ll keep ’em quiet and useful. Follow the admonition of the apostle Paul: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”

    Group dynamics are hard. I don’t have to be in charge, or even right, but I have to survive. Communism sure doesn’t work. Everyone in the group will have to have his or her own gear. I’m not giving up mine. If you don’t like it, lump it. While everyone else was buying boats and taking vacations, I got an education and food storage. Think about the parable of the ant and the grasshopper. If the group dynamics don’t work, I’ll take my gear and my family and go somewhere else, unless it’s my retreat, in which case the other guy will pack his shit and leave.

    I am not a utilitarian. This “greatest good for the greatest amount of people” bullshit is just that. If we’re playing the lifeboat game, it’s in my bloody lifeboat. I am an individualist. I don’t feel obligated to any group outside my own family. One problem I have with wannabe survivalists is that they inevitably turn to killing their neighbor to loot his goods. To that I say not only is stealing wrong; but I have the answer to that guy: his head on a stick (to warn his peers).

    • Nice.

      “Follow the admonition of the apostle Paul: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.””

      Where is that from? I’m sure I can find it on my own. But that is very useful quote to push at people, especially if they’re going to be bible thumpers.

      • 2 Thessalonians 3:10, King James Bible

        When folks tell me their food storage is an AK47 and their neighbors’ food storage, I remind them that the neighbor might have two AK47’s and a boatload of training.

    • That whole survivalist who just plans to loot thing really, really pisses me of. If you’re into survival, you should be prepared, and preparing to steal isn’t preparing at all.

      • It is so preparing Dave and you know it!

        What they’re preparing for is a quick death.

  8. All someone needs to bring to join my group is a good attitude. In a high stress environment like a Z-pic, a good attitude can make a huge difference in the groups morale. With good morale we make a better team. As a better team we stand a better chance of surviving.

    • I like this. You come in with no practical skills, but the desire to learn, you’re probably all right.

  9. To become apart of the group, you would have to have: a weapon with ammo, a good backround check, be alive (preferably not bitten), and one useful skill. (hunting,gathering,fighting,building etc.)

    To get kicked out, you would have to have or been: Caught maiming or killing someone, not respecting your duties, weighing the group down, or having an overall bad attitude from which we all can suffer of.

    • How would you propose a background check in the middle of the End?

      • I’m curious about this too.

        I’m liking your thoughts about kicking someone out of the group. Established rules would be important. It reminds my of No Escape with Ray Liotta. Love that flick.

        • I know it would be very hard to find a full fledged “do you have any refrences?” background check, I thought of that as I posted that comment. What I meant by it is that if someone that I know has information on the guy trying to get in that if he had a bad past, is violent or has ever abandoned someone in a crisis we wouldn’t let him in. The most likely thing that would happen though is that no one would have ever met the guy before in which we play by ear.

          However I have never heard of that movie (I’m only 12) so I don’t know what your refering to.

  10. I would take the one awesome person and allow the four other useless’ to come along to, I would assign them something simple like gathering, or I would put them into a sort of apprenticeship so they can have a certain skill.

    • Unskilled labor/shit work. If nothing else, it’s motivation to learn to do something better.

  11. “Mine and My Own”

    Our group is clan/relationship based, not skilled based. Which means, many of us will most likely die.

    1. I’m married (30 years!) with 3 adult childrent, a daughter-in-law and a whatever-he-is-sonnish-in-law. Have a very good friend whom we take care of her 2 kids (4 & 5 year olds) and a handful of close relationships in the area. So my focus is more responsibility driven than “mere” survival. The whole, I’ll die so that you can live thingy.

    2. So, my approach would be based on the Disaster Rearch ‘n Rescue model, in addition to the Patriarch Responsible for the Family.

    Fortunately . . .

    3. I was the Marine Corps for 12 years; my wife was in the Air force for 10 years; my eldest has had 3 Marine tours of duty in Iraq & Afghanistan; we’ve taken extensive courses on Red Cross Disaster Training; I’m a trauma therapist. My youngest has oodles of experience with wildlife rescue, so he knows how to slay, skin, preapare AND he’s one hell of a cook!

    4. We’re also a subculture of hikers & mountaineers, so the whole living on the outdoors and hiking long distances thingy is cared for.

    5. We would be like salmon going upstream when it hits the fan. That is, we have the handful of people whom we would go seek out to verify if they are alive, triage if needed, and bring along if possible.

    6. Our initial emphasis, then, is not “recruitment,” which seems a luxury when dealing with a major disaster, but survival of community members. So, once the “clan” is set, the issue then becomes more of who can tag along with. Intitially, it would be the Do You Need Help and Can You Keep Up types; eventually, when we have a greater sense of what’s what, we’ would have the luxury of being more selective, if not the responsibility, to be more cautious. My guess is that within 5 to 6 months of the major outbreak, societal norms will collapse and that the other survivor groups will be as much as a threat as the zees themselves.

    • Okay, so when the shit hits the fan, I’m driving to Luis’ place.

      • I wanna come to!

    • Hope you’ll be open to trade!

      • Trade as in our services in exterminating bipedal parasitic vermin for goods to get us through the next stage as we plan out how to make this into a better hopeful world? We’re in!

        • Some people just need to be the exterminators, and I being of a youthful age am willing to take up such a dangerous task if it ever presents itself.

          Mercenaries is usually taken as a bad thing, but I’m hoping that it would instead be taken as a sign of hope and goodness. As it would be working for goods, food, and contacts.

        • I thing you’d enjoy our group, Calicade! We spend great time brainstorming on how to mass scale reduce the zee population.

          I also thought you were originally making reference to issue #96. 😀

        • I’m rather open to any group, but when it comes down to if things go how I want them? I’d be running a survivalist group that goes around helping the general populous in ways to survive.

          But yeah I’ve been rather interested in looking for a group, hell I’m taking a survivalist class that I’m doing rather good at so far.

          I admit I’m a bit inexperienced myself, but reading The Hunger Games only makes me think how much more room I have for learning stuff if only I find the right trainer.

  12. Re: The comic

    Heh! Yep, when the chips are down, the bullies come out. Fortunately, an ongoing theme in situs like this is that our snarky rude friend will get his in due time and Sam will have the last laugh!

    Well, if laughing at the horrible demise of one’s tormentor is funny, that is. Oh, what am I saying, of course it is!

    • Everyone loves seeing a bully get their comeuppance.

  13. While I don’t have Luis’ extensive skill set and knowledge base, I feel confident enough about myself to be able to be useful, to myself.

    A child like my daughter will be coming along. There’s stuff she can do.

    This previous quote – Follow the admonition of the apostle Paul: “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” All it means is fat bags like my X are gonna get left in the dust, men who expect someone else to do all the work for them and they do nothing but tag-along.

    Useless – If we had someone shut down completely into catatonia and would not do anything or could not do anything to help themselves, I’d find myself faced with a harsh choice of leave them behind and can’t join.

    Mad Dogs – I covered this last comic. The assumption are those males and possibly any females whom when society has broken down are on a killing & raping spree of anyone else still living and standing. I’ll be getting a shotgun or other firearm and taking these people out just as quickly as the obvious zombies. The trick is determining who completely degenerated to this level of uncivilization that they feel they no longer have to be civil to others, even when the society is gone.

    Basically as I see it. Anyone who joins is going to have to be able to provide for themselves unless I’ve saved grandma or grandpa. But the ideal is everyone should be able to contribute and do something. It’s the apocalypse. People will have to learn quickly how to handle themselves.

    Otherwise I’m facing the hard choices of leaving people and offing the mad dogs.

    • “Useless – If we had someone shut down completely into catatonia and would not do anything or could not do anything to help themselves, I’d find myself faced with a harsh choice of leave them behind and can’t join.”

      This is an interesting notion. I wouldn’t know how to handle this either.

      • This one has stumped me ever since Schindler’s List! You know, the scene at the hospital where the med staff is rushing to Death With Dignity their patients ‘fore the Nazis arrive.

        I think a lot of those zee buffet shops known as nursing homes, one which has my mother in law in it. When it hits the Beyond All Hope stage, what to do with the severely infirm, catatonic, the “unmovables”? Let ’em starve to death? Euthanize ’em? Let the zees go at ’em and thank ’em for their sacrifice?

        No man left behind, ‘cept if it’s your mother in law in the nursing home? Yikes!

    • I like your style Silver… Good place to find people to trade with it seems! Good ol’ zombie comics.

  14. Can you say you have a right to life, without a right to death?

    I’m not against morphine overdoses for the critically “un-saveable”. Better than the alternative.

    • I”m not against morphine overdose for me! Had that stuff once after agonizing kidney stones and I was like Charley on Candy Mountain!

      • You just fall asleep, then stop breathing. You go into respiratory arrest, but don’t really care. Then your heart stops.

        Could be worse.

  15. Oh, I’ve got it all planned out perfectly: When the zombie apocalypse starts, I’ll be one of these supernumeraries who get bitten and become zombies. And while you “survivors” run away with your petty concerns like food, drink, health and ammo, me and my zombie buddies will just walk around slowly, chill, bite other supernumeraries or the occasional supporting character, and live forever (unless someone shoots us).
    But, seriously, I don’t think I’d make it more than five minutes after the end of civilization. I have no combat experience whatsoever, I can’t cook, I am unathletic and extremely skinny. I wouldn’t qualify for most of the other groups here, so I think I’ll likely be on my own.
    Hence my policy for joining is rather liberal: I’m going to take everyone. If I’m the one to start the group, or the existing group I join wants me to be their leader, I’d make sure every applicant listens to what I say. If I’m not the leader, I’d make sure the grouo I join has already a leader who’s assertive and competent. After that, every skill is welcome, but none compulsory. Of course, there are rules:
    You do what whoever is in charge tells you. If not, see you.
    You don’t start a fight, if you disagree with someone, the leader’s gonna arbitrate. No complaining.
    You steal, you die. No exception.
    You kill someone else, you better have a very good explanation.
    If you turn out to hinder the group, we might drop you.
    You turn on the group, you die. If we lose trust in you, you’re left behind.
    These should be the basic rules. Beyond that, legislative and judicative power should be held by the team’s boss. Anyone who accepts is in. If they don’t, I have no problem surviving on my own. After all, I don’t really expect to. And as said above, being a zed isn’t that bad, I think. I mean, has anyone ever thought about volunteering to become one?^^

    Oh, and I don’t think that people will necessarily lose weight in the apocalypse. I mean, stress can both make people lose or gain some. And low rationes can yield a yo-yo effect. So, don’t get too excited, Dave =P

    • Err well.. There will be starvation which will help eat away the lipids.

      • In the long haul, yes. But I expect to find food at some point, so people will get at least something to eat. Okay, you will lose weight, after some time, but you might stay at least slightly overweight.

  16. I still can’t believe they haven’t even given poor Sam a blanket. I guess you can rationalise not giving him clothes by saying that if he does turn and they have to off him, they don’t want to contaminate them, but if he turns he would leave a blanket behind.

    Question:
    We’ll take anyone, we always need more bodies. Just about everyone can be useful for something, even if it’s only chores.
    Your skilled dude with friends? Definitely, I don’t care if they don’t have skills as long as they’re willing to pull their weight.
    As far as people who are indeed completely unable to function, I don’t like thinking about that. I wouldn’t imagine many would survive long enough to join up, but any that did turn up, maybe they had a friend carry them, I think we’d have to take them. It would be the right thing to do.
    Besides, anyone who can singlehandedly carry a catatonic friend in a survival situation is someone I want on my team, and he’s not likely to join up if I insist he abandons his comrade.