Suzanne, here, though that is unimportant at this time.
My message to you is what matters, so read closely and take notes.
For years we have seen movies and read books about zombies. These undead creatures have been portrayed as slow moving, what I will refer to as “shamblers,” and fast moving, ones I will refer to as “scary as hell.”
The other day while watching Zombieland, and wondering what my quest would be if I was Woody Harrelson, I decided it would be chocolate. Not that this matters, but other thoughts rattled around in my head as well. They tend to do that, and I tend to ramble, but I assure you what I realized changed my life, and has me looking at the Zombie Apocalypse in a whole new light.
Zombies are all about “the brains”, or so we have been led to believe. I think this is a lie. Propaganda perpetrated by the “scary as hell” camp. What is even a more horrific thought, and one that has me getting a lot of frequent flyer miles from the local hardware store, what if both camps are in on it?
This would mean that both “shamblers” and “scary as hell” could co-exist. Not only that, but plan an apocalypse that would take us all by surprise.
This is when my research started, and as a result several questions have arose which I will try to find answers to before time runs out.
I ran to my DVD collection and watched as many movies as I could until my friends did an intervention and stopped me from ordering several illegal zombie survival kits. So, I read until the nightmares had me up for a week and I’d developed a tic.
Brains? Not for This Zombie
My findings were terrifying to say the least. In none of the movies did I see a zombie eat a brain, in fact the brain was the most important part of the zombie. It is not just their Achilles (meal) heel, but also the part of their body responsible for keeping them going once infected.
In the books I read several passages in which people described various entrails and viscera hanging from the mouth of every other zombie the survivors passed. Some were “gnawers”, others were “organ fiends.” Yet, not one paragraph described a brain being eaten.
Then it struck me. My Eureka moment. The skull is so hard how could their chipped and decayed teeth possibly crunch through your head. If I was a zombie, and I’m not, I swear. I would also go for the softer parts of the body to eat.
This led me to wonder what their real agenda was. Have we been misled? If zombies were to eat the brains of their victims, there would be no propagation of their species. Are we so focused on the protection our grey matter that we have neglected what might be a significantly more dangerous situation.
ZOMBIES TAKE OVER.
Rethinking the Zombie Apocalypse
Are the “shamblers” working in tandem with “scary as hell?” If my theory is right, we need to re-think our current methods of defense. What if they are pulling the wool over our eyes so to speak? Make us think one thing, then all of a sudden we find out they are up to something else altogether.
In order to insure the survival of humankind, we need to join forces. And one of the first things to combat is within our very own Zombie Apocalypse Community.
There is a division among us, and it will kill us all unless we unite. We must decide if the coming apocalypse will involve “shamblers,” “scary as hell,” or, my least favorite option – Both.
Creating the Zombie Manifesto
So my new goal in life is to create a Zombie Manifesto. I will talk with experts in the field, gather eye-witness reports, and compile the information needed in order to ensure your survival of the coming Zombie Apocalypse.
My first question for data gathering purposes is this –
When the zombies come (and they will), do you think it will be “shamblers,” “scary as hell,” or both?
The person who gives their answer with the best reasoning to support it will get an honorable mention in the next issue of the Zombie Manifesto.
Ooooh hohohoh.. You’ve come to the right place.
I shall have my report here with in the day!
Establishing my bias fright off the back; I’m a big shamble/slow creeper zombie fan… Now lets get to the facts I’ve assumed in my head shall we?
First of all I shall start with listing what would have to have happened to make a shambler from my research into it.
Shambler~
The target must first die to lose all cogitative control as well as mental control
The parasite. Yes a parasite, because unlike bacteria and viruses the parasite thinks; meaning it’s the only one that can control anything. My information is also supported by the fact that any insect or animal that has been mind controlled it has been by a parasite.
The parasite itself will not be the first one to kill the host. Instead the immunity system will end up killing the host from over heating their brain. Now one might think that this could be slowed by a cold rag of some sort, and that is possibly true but we will only know when it happens (that’s if you aren’t as cold hearted as I can be). Now this is based off several facts/ideas that come from both real world situations and movies. As is popular in movies one of the popular things that happens to a bitten person is an unimaginably powerful fever.
My second base of facts also includes why I think the parasite would be the faster to spread among a populous. Parasites have a nasty skill of holding onto animals, or being harbored by animals alike, and spreading those parasites to humans. This can be seen in the black plague even though the black plague was a bacteria, it was spread by a parasite.
So some may think
“Oh all mighty Calicade… Why can’t they run like we can run?”
Fun fact: Even as fully grown adults we still have loads of issues with our dexterity. So what makes you think a parasite fresh and new to our system is going to start out in a sprint? It takes us months in the beginning to even begin to walk, and more time to run with out bumbling and falling on our faces (admittedly a-lot of people still do so). As a bipedal creature our balance is largely based straight down through our body, and that requires something we just throw off to the side as something we take for granted: Posture. A parasite won’t be able to keep track of all functions at once, and I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t take a year or so for them to even master double tasking. So how will the parasite spread effectively? Slow n’ steady wins the race as they always say.
Perhaps you are wondering why I like slow shambler zombies?
Well I’ve always like the slow variation of zombies, and that’s because they are slow, creeping, and sneaking freaks that want to eat my precious flesh (I know I’m greedy when it comes to my own body). It also makes it much more likely that those who are slow but skilled would survive… And then society isn’t lost after all!
Oh but Surely I can’t be to biased towards the Scary as Hell/Runner zombie right? Lets have the statistics for the ‘RAGE’ zombie.
SaH~
The target must not die first: The infection will change the target with in the day.
Bacteria, but why would this be the pandemic that changes the human into what is known as the ‘RAGE’ zombie? Bacteria is what causes mad cow disease and rabies. The bacteria can spread through anything, and with anything… Meaning it’s one of the most infectious.
Though bacteria has proved itself to be the most popular when it comes to twisting the mind. I must honestly say I don’t think they can respectfully be called zombies. The brain instead of being taken over by something instead is purely enraged by a bacteria that alters the flow of chemicals. So instead of dying the target is brought to a state of a human rabies.
It wouldn’t take the time to kill a Shambler what it would to kill a Scary as Hell. A Scary as hell will take a few shots to any part of the body and die, but could be easily taken out by a disconnection of the spinal cord, destroy the brain stem, or a well placed shot to the head to destroy that cognition. Shamblers will take a barrage of bullets, but unless you are destroying the brain stem, and the brain.. Then they just won’t go down. Of course you can take out a Shamblers knees, perhaps even put around 10 pounds of lead into their body-But that’s only going to slow them down not stop them.
One of the reasons I hate Scary as Hell zombies? Perhaps it’s because they lack substance.. Or maybe I just don’t like the idea of being chased down by a bunch of raging cannibals.
~I would have had this to you earlier (Perhaps a bit better done as well) but I got into a Dawn of Creation game..
Good stuff! A quick note (not meant as a correction to your point as much as an enhancement to it): I think a better term than “bacteria” in reference to mad cow and rabies is “parasite” (as mad cow is caused by a prion and rabies by a virus). “Parasite” is a broad concept that incorporates the microbial as well as larger organisms. Cool concepts, though!
I can respect that you were kindly trying to edit, but I can’t but help say you’re wrong.
Viruses, Bacteria, and Parasites are all different.
Viruses are the smallest being an unliving thing that simply goes into the humans body and replicates its DNA in a host cell.
A bacteria is the second smallest as. Bacteria fucks things up in their own little ways.. So really explaining one to a specific style is.. Near impossible.
A Parasite is the largest, and a living organism. The parasite can be as large as a tick, to as small as one that will crawl straight into your urethra after you took a piss in a pond way down in South America.
Won’t quibble, but check out a book called Parasite Rex. Parasite = any organism that lives in or on another organism (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the host’s expense.
My real point was that mad cow and rabies are caused by organisms other than bacteria. Again, all of your other concepts are valid.
Alright, seems legit.
When the zombies come, they’ll be shamblers. I feel very strongly about this.
I love me some slow zombies. I feel like they’re scary in a totally different way than the fast (ALA scary as hell) zombies. Running zombies work on immediacy. You’ve got to get away, now!
Slow zombies are different. There’s this slowly building dread. When there are only one or two, you can take them out or simply avoid them, but as the zombie masses build they become inescapable. I love that.
Look, how about we all agree to get infected immediately and/or kill each other so we don’t waste time, life and resources surviving the zombies?
Well that’s a rather defeatist attitude.
Well I’m just concerned in the event of an ACTUAL zombie breakout odds are there will be no survivors. Unless someone can find a way to “cure” zombies, we’d all be infected sooner or later, or all die out.
I think the slow zombies are scarier as well, building the dread and almost forcing you to run through all of your escape options.
The fast ones, aka, scary as hell are too quick – no build up just leaves action.
Loki avatar!!!!!
Of course Loki, she is my first line of defense
Holy Shit this is fantastic
Will have a long reply this weekend!
Looking forward to reading it ZM
hhmmm. I enjoy both types of zombies. Slow ones can be creepy, and quiet–sneak right up on you. In packs, they’re scary as hell. The runners, sprinters, fast-movers, are edge-of-your-seat scary and i’d prefer to go against a slow mover.
I would like to bring up another point with zombies. The mean-looking, evil-expressions on their faces, hungry snarling zombies, compared to the truly brain-dead ones, that have no expression and only want flesh. Staring down a mindless, dead-eyed thing is creepy as hell, knowing it has no emotion, and is almost like a robot in that it moves forward and eats. It makes me realize that there is nothing there, just a hollow husk needing to eat, and for no reason than to fulfill its “programming.”
Best reasoning, huh? Oh well.
Here’s what I’ve got though.
I’m home with a sick little one today. Like many kids, she’s formed a strong association between doctors and needles. She’s only six and never had a shot except the required inoculations, but the damage still runs deep. After each injection, though, she’s always been easy to console. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Almost every time she responds with a sheepish look and shake of her head.
If she knows ahead of time there’ll be shots, then there’s tears and protests and Biblical-level lamentations all day, worsening on the car ride and reaching a crescendo in the seconds just before the needle pierces skin.
Her dread is palpable and debilitating. If not for the level of trust she has for me (and the fact I out-mass her by a factor of about five) she’d be out the door and headed to anywhere but.
Now, if I sprang the shot on her out of the blue (aside from destroying the aforementioned trust thing) she’d have that initial explosion of fear and the fight-or-flight reflex, but then it’d be over. No time to dwell. No time to think of possibilities of escape. No time to mull over the inevitable. No time to worry over forces larger, more powerful, and more patient (sorry, deliberate doctor pun there) than herself.
When the fast zombies come, I’ll be running like hell, fighting like mad, and tripping the less agreeable neighbors. And when they finally get me, I know it’ll be quick. But there will have been precious little time to think.
When the slow zombies come, the dread could go on and on and on.
If I have to pick, I’m going with slow. If I have my druthers, I pick a combination. I like what a lot of stories have done with the dead being faster at first and slowing over time. That’s pretty cool.
Very good reasoning here, William. Food for thought, no pun intended
I’m pretty sure we’ll be plagued by both shamblers and runners. My theory is that version will depend on freshness when reanimated. You’d probably start with shamblers, a few long dead reanimations, then to make things worse, as the outbreak continues more ‘fit’ people would become infected, so eventually runners will outnumber shamblers by a frightening amount. But as time goes on the faster ones would slow up, so once you survive the initial onslaught, things should get easier.
Hey all! Looks like a great place to hang out. I’m thinking along the lines of Paul. And I’ve been of the mindset that humanity will go out with a sniffle, not a nuke.
Thanks Mr Youngquist, in one of my stories I actually say ‘far from the human race going out with a bang, it was dying with a whimper.’
It will be some sort of research accident, I’m sure of that
When the undead come, they will be fast as fuck. It is RAGE that powers them to begin with, hence their desire to tear the living to pieces…
It is only as time goes by that they become ‘shamblers’ (a horribly derogatory term, I think). Everything falls to pieces inside, and the desire to consume brains is merely a cruel joke mother nature has played upon them. “Eat brains and you will be smart again.”
The idea that a shambling zombie is a metaphor for death (you can run, but it’ll get you in the end) has sadly been forgotten, and now is played for laughs.
Running zombies – c’mon, nothing’s scarier than that! I know zombologists turned their noses up at 28 Days Later because the Infected weren’t technically dead/undead, but that was far more terrifying than any slow-mo zombie flick.
I have to agree with this, a lot of propaganda to lead us down the wrong path and in the end leave us with our pants down when the end comes.
Fast moving is very terrifying, absolutely no outrunning them.
Great insight here.
Slow and unstoppable. Knock one down and they’ll be a thousand standing right behind it. In my own frequent nightmares all is lost, outnumbered many thousands to one there is a certain inevitability about the future. One day soon I’ll become just like them.
All the other monsters of my dreams either work alone or in small groups. There’s still a glimmer of hope, no matter how small, that somehow they can be defeated, but I know that nothing, absolutely nothing can escape the clutches of the horde.
Fast or slow, clever or dumb, brain or flesh eaters. It doesn’t really matter after all, come the day only one constant will remain.
We are all screwed.
The only zombie movies I can think of where the zombies were actually after, and eating, brains are all in the Return of the Living Dead series. I think we will be plagues by shamblers, crawlers, runners, jumpers, even swimmers. After all, what you were in life may dictate what you are in death. And I also think freshness will determine just how fast a zombie can move. The recently dead will be a hell of a lot faster and meaner than the older dead. And those who died in their younger years will be faster and meaner than those who died older. If we survive the initial rising, we should be all right as decay turns the tide in humanity’s favor. My questions of “what if” still revolve around the animals that feed on dead matte — dogs, cats, birds, bugs, rats, worms and on.
I agree, another topic needs to be what happens to the animals that feed on the meat (making notes as to what else needs to be addressed in the zombie apocalypse)
The brain eating zombies was brought about from the zombie parody movies, Return of the Living Dead. I should know this because as a child in the first grade I walked around the play ground acting like a shambler saying in a freaky tone, “Braaaaaainnnsss”. :^)
I like both types, the shamblers and the scary as hell. The shamblers are easier to out run. However, the shamblers will at some point corner you, or you will get tired, have several Charlie Horses, and be a living shambler which is a Happy Meal with legs to the shamblers.
I like a story that uses both.
I have a zombie story in the works where at first they are the scary as hell, but then as they go on, they slow down.
I am the kinda guy who wants his cake, and eat the ice cream too. :^P
Not to mention with every new zombie story, there must be something a little different in how the virus works (assuming it is not a supernatural storyline).
I believe the zombies will initially be fast and cagey, resulting in a kind of Shock and Awe campaign in which humanity is completely overrun. As their own gray matter deteriorates and connective muscle tissue breaks down, they will eventually become slower until they resemble the shamblers that are iconic of the undead genre. When this occurs, their true strength will certainly be in their numbers. It also bears mentioning that in the degradation model of zombification, any freshly turned reanimates would essentially act as “alpha hunters” for the slow moving horde. With their speed, they would either A) bring down fresh prey, allowing the rest of the “pack” to catch up and join in on the carnage or B) drive the panicked survivor right into the clutches of its brethern.
Consider the following. The portions of their brains which controls movement is obviously still working, however zombies can’t feel pain. In the living, pain is a warning sign that we have pushed our bodies to the brink of its physical limits. When we are running, a stitch in our side tells us to stop and rest or, at the very least, to slow the hell down. This warning indicator wouldn’t necessarily be present in the living dead, so it serves to reason that they would run. A common argument against this is the presence of rigor mortis. However, coroners routinely “break” rigor mortis by moving the body’s joints, thus allowing them to manipulate and position the corpse more easily. In most films and movies, zombification sets in within minutes of death. With the regular dead, rigor mortis sets in within 12 hours after death. I repeat for emphasis: 12 hours. If the corpse almost immediately reanimates, then it would effectively be breaking its own rigor mortis by its own mobility.
It should also be noted that with the degradation model, the lack of pain would be an additional factor to simple deterioration. A running zombie who just doesn’t know when to stop would rip and shred muscle by constant, vigorous activity, thus accelerating the amount of time it would take to degrade into shamblers.
At first, there will most likely be both but I don’t think even “the scary as hell” zombies will be able to run very fast.
When the apocalypse begins (and I’m with you, not if but when), the first ones turned will be able to move somewhat fast, though they’ll still be incredibly uncoordinated considering the new ways a body functions after reanimation. Nerves will be dead and brain synapses will have shut down as the zombie becomes little more than an eating machine, biologically set up to do nothing other than consume living flesh (or organs, most likely even bone marrow). I could see them as possibly jogging but sprinting would be impossible, their bodies would just not be coordinated enough and they’d trip over themselves constantly. While those first ones would slow down rather quickly, fresher zombies would replace them and you’d end up with a mixture of the two types.
As the apocalypse winds down and mankind ends up as either members of a new undead race or stomach contents all you’re going to have is the slower, shambling zombies. You are, by the way, entirely correct with the brain eating too, zombies would not be able to break through the skull, although they may be able to get to the brain after everything else is consumed by scooping it out after ripping off the jaw.
Both! Of course, while some may start out fast, unless they can regenerate tissue they’re going to end up joining the shamblers. In the end, though, their power is in their numbers…slow or fast, they’re gonna get you and pick your bones clean. They might even split your skull with a rock to get to that candy center!
I think it all comes down to what causes the dead to rise, as to whether they become shamblers or sprinters. I think sprinters would be terrifying, especially if they retain a good grasp on their senses. Hearing or something special ability to smell the living would make them hard to resist by anyone for long.
Give a reasonably well-trained soldier a quanitity of ammo and time to pick a defensive position with limited access, and they may very well triumph for a long time against shamblers. Put that same soldier up against a horde of sprinters and he probably won’t survive long.
I think we’d need to pick a more defined scenario for me to truly address this topic. There are many factors to consider as we nail down the capabilities of the ‘enemy’ and the tactical situation the survivors find themselves in.
One quote comes to mind that I think is quite apt for this subject, though. Josef Stalin said: “Quanity has a quality all it’s own.”
For me it would be “scary as hell” Not being able to get away, because you know that I’d be dumb enough to trip over my feet.
If it were a true zombie apocalypse, I believe the zombies would be shufflers. BUT. I do not beilieve that the Z-Poc will be one that matches our hopes or fears, I do not believe it will be a Romero Zombie Attack that we suffer. In my opinion, if it happens it will be more like Boyles 28Days Later. A man made virus or drug that will drive its victims or takers to a rage fuelled killing spree that will cause them to lose all humanity and grow an urge to attack, kill and or pass on the infection/drug. So in this ‘more believable’ Z-Poc I think we will more than likely be attacked by the ‘scary as hell’ type. AND this is not the apocalypse I signed up for….. I want the shufflers.
Mr. Lightfoot raises a good point. May be the question should be how do we define “zombie”? In my mind, there are two types: the living dead and the living infected (by a parasite, virus, bacteria, protozoan, or other organism). As to the former group, I am definitely Team Slow. Science dictates that. As to the latter, it probably could go either way. My guess, however, is that parasitic manipulation would lean towards slow movers.
Why? Parasites generally “seek” to find the perfect carrier and homeostasis, or stability (and by “seek” I really am referring to the biological imperative to multiply and survive). A parasite “wants” (again with the anthropomorphizing!) to be ingrained in a lifecycle. This allows the parasite to infect as many people as possible and proliferate without the epidemic burning out. When there are no more carriers there is no more infection. So, slow movers might be best at establishing a beachhead and ensuring a constant churn.
Let’s assume, too, that the parasite has manipulated the host and created a sense of hunger/desire to feed and/or masticate. If that’s the case, it raises another vital point: the faster the zombie, the less likely the chance of escape. If you don’t escape, you get devoured. If you get devoured, you don’t create more zombies. A zombie disease that is operating at peek efficiency will seek transmission through a bite and not full digestion of a victim. Slow zombies are better suited in this way.
Thanks for letting me weigh in!
I think there will be a mixture of slow and fast zombies and why shouldn’t there be? Also varying levels of intelligence. While I do agree a slow shambler can be scarier I hate the idea of “every zombie is the same.”
I think the idea of fast as hell zombies came about from the idea that as they are dead, they feel no pain and are therefore more capable of accomplishing things that normal, living humans cannot do. this idea sounds reasonable, logical.
Here’s the problem….physics.
there’s a reason people can’t run overly fast. it has to do with the way we are built. nature has given us muscle and tendons and ligaments all working in conjunction, not only so that we can propel ourselves, but so that we don’t overheat and cause ourselves a heart attack or lung failure. there’s only so much a human being can handle.
now being dead does not exempt a person from these rules. they are still limited by the same rules of physical science as the living. that they cannot have a heart attack, lung failure, or react to injuries or pain is of no concern to the body. only a small percentage of driven people are capable of exceeding the average limits of the human body, but that is because of their conscience and will power. the undead have neither.
i think the freshly dead might be as fast as a living person, but no better. eventually the muscles decay and they will all be shamblers.
shamblers!!!
Alright, Ima keep this short. My theory between shamblers and runners it really depends on the type of situation. If zombies appear because of a nuclear radiaton then they should move fast because their body hasn’t had much time to decompose. On the other undead hand, If say in the move “fido” were people own zombies as pets, space dust that has come through the atmosphere revives dead bodies and creates the zombies which are veiwed as shamblers possibly because they’ve had a while to rot. If we are to survive a zombie apocalypse we should be wary about our situation and the source of the zombie apocalypse. Just sayin’
My preference in a good movie scare is fast. My preference for reading is slow. There are reasons for this. In a book a slower development to mass infection helpbs build the storyline. In a movie I am paying for the rent so I want my scare fix right now!!!
Realizing that every movie is written I need to start writing about fast ones also. I haven’t so far but I think I will start to do so. The reason for this is that if I am addicted to a quick building, sustained scare in a movie then younger people who do not have the schedule and lifestyle for a slower building plot will probably look at books like movies and want the effect of the book to hit soon, and keep going through the length.
First off, why can’t zombies eat brains. Ever wonder how they keep on ticking? Here’s my theory…when your dead, your not completely dead. You have parts of your brain still active and firing even after you’ve been pronounced dead. So…the reason why the zombie would actually go after the brain would be for those active live parts that would ease their pain and help keep rigamortis from setting in. Eating Brain kills the Pain. In theory, keeping them going until their food supply ran out. But to answer your question, I think there will be a mix of Shamblers and Scary as Hell…depending how much “brain food” they come across.
I’m trying not get drawn into the biological/viral/parasitic/bacterial side of this debate so i’ll keep it basic.
The Scary as Hell, rager ghoul doesn’t belong inside of the zombie genre, simply because their ability to run excludes them from the category “undead”. Running is a higher level brain function like speech and conscious thought. If a zombie could run then both it’s mental abilities and it’s reflexes would have to match it’s motor skills for things such as tracking the target’s movements to intercept it and avoiding obstructions at a split second’s notice. A zombie that could run could also probably think, climb, fight and maybe even speak or use tools. If that were the case “Scary as Hell” wouldn’t begin to cover it. This works well in films like “I am legend” and 28 days later which are not zombie films. When fast zombies are used in films, such as “Dawn of the Dead” remake and “Zombieland” the concept is at best, utter Heresy.
Shamblers are what we will be facing in the apocalypse, shambling, barely able to walk, decaying corpses. Just look at how well this effect was used to create terror in that episode of The Walking dead where Shane and Otis are fleeing for their lives on foot with a heavy load of medical supplies, would that be much of a drama if you replaced the zombies with rage zombies? Overwhelming the survivors in a few seconds rather than relentlessly driving the living to despair with their chilling groans and eternal unblinking search for a live meal. Void of all emotion but their utter desperation to consume living flesh, anything else just isn’t a zombie and therefore won’t be found in a ZOMBIE apolcalypse.